It's My Take On Life =)

Adele-JohnMayer-ish

2011-07-26T23:29:00.004+08:00

Blame Twitter for making me no longer faithful towards this blog. Hihi.

Lately Adele & John Mayer have been my best friends. They would talk to me, so melodiously; so understanding.

"Never mind I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you, too." - Someone Like You

"Like a fool for fire I fall, with my pride and all. Like a bomb before explosion, ticking by your call." - I Found A Boy

"See how I'll leave with every piece of you. Don't underestimate the things that I will do. There's a fire starting in my heart. I can't help thinking, we almost had it all." - Rolling In The Deep

"When will I see you again? You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said. But don't you remember? Please remember me once more." - Don't You Remember

"But there's a side to you that I never knew. All the things you'd say, they were never true. I set fire to the rain and I threw us into the flames, where I felt something die, because I knew that that was the last time." - Set Fire To The Rain

"Lightning strike inside my chest to keep me up at night. Once you want it to begin, no one really ever wins in heartbreak warfare. I swear to God we're gonna get it right if you lay your weapon down. Glad to know it's all a game, disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak warfare." - Heartbreak Warfare

"It's not a silly little moment, it's not the storm before the calm. This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on. We're going down, and you can see it too. You know that we're doomed, my dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room." - Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

"Then you come on crashing in like the realest thing. Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time. Half of my heart's got a real good imagination, half of my heart's got you." - Half Of My Heart

"Anything other than yes is no. Anything other than stay is go. Think we'll never fall into the jealous game? Friends, lovers or nothing. We can really only ever be one. We'll never be the in-between, so give it up." - Friends, Lovers, Or Nothing

All these songs have something in common. Go figure.

I dislike being called cute. It's insulting for a 20-year-old, a young woman, to be said as cute. It must take a whole lotta lying for someone to tell me I'm beautiful instead.

Burped, xx Saara

So All Isn't Lost After All

2011-03-20T01:56:00.003+08:00

I really should be asleep now so that I can wake up early and study. But I figured, hey, since I'm on the net right now, why not just blog? Since I haven't done that in a while. :D

Tonight I came across/stumbled upon/was given the links of a few blogs of people just like you, just like me. KYUEMians. Only difference is that they are already in the UK ie they are our super seniors. Anyway. That is not the point I wanted to state.

I was always an optimist when it came to love. Before KY, I was always positive that one day there will be this guy who falls madly in love with me.
Noone throughout school? Tu tada haaaal broooo. College ada.
Then, I don't know at what point in my KY time did pessimism start setting in.

But tonight, that pessimism was killed. Rather drastically, one might think?
I am so relieved that it's gone.
If more guys like him existed, and I happen to have the fortune of having one in my life, the world would be a much better place than it is now. (:
This guy who constantly blogs about his girlfriend, oh, it touches the very heart of this stranger.
I never knew.
Never knew such love could exist in a man, for a woman. I've seen it on TV, but was always convinced that reality begs to differ. Now I can truly say, true love really does exist. Stories like "The Notebook" really happen. And knowing that is enough to make me a happy happy girl :))

SO all hope isn't lost after all. Anticipation for the future shall commence. And in order for that to happen, I must study. So I'm gonna go in 5 minutes. :D

******
Love IS a leap of faith. I may have underestimated this statement before. So I say, yes, it is a leap of faith. If you're courageous enough to take that leap, then you will have achieved love. As for me? Well. I'm not ready to take that leap. I truly am not ready and I'm sorry. And I'm sorry because I'm currently experiencing the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. Yes, it's strange yet interesting. Who ever knew Economics could explain my feelings so well? Haha.

******

Ok I know this is extremely random like to the max TP. Hihi. This is how I work after all.
Here are some books I really would like in my possession:

1. Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom
(An akak quoted a part of this book on her blog and I really liked it and I now I wanna read the whole book :o)

2. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray
(Kinda a must-have book, no? Should explain why men just don't understand women and vice versa. But hey, being on Venus is WAY awesomer k? B))

3. A Perfect Divorce by Francesca Clementis
(This is an early 2000s book and I doubt I can find it in the bookstores anymore but I really like it and I can't keep borrowing it from a friend now, can I? What if I wanna read it again when I'm 22 or 24? I'm gonna have to find a copy somehow T_T)

4. North & South by Elizabeth Gaskell
(I always like to think that when you watch a movie, there's a 0.9 probability that if it was based on a book, yes the book would be better. I had the chance to watch this 4-episode drama from my aunty, and it was SPLENDID. I really wonder how the original ie the book could possibly top that! SO I wanna find this book.)

Yes I Burped.

Updates updates updates

2011-02-26T19:20:00.003+08:00

So I've been busy. One would think that as a senior, the only thing I would be busy about is my studies. HELL NO. Here's a list of what's happened since my last post:

1. YEARBOOK.
Being a part of the Batch 12/12.5 Yearbook Committee has been taking up a decent fraction of my limited time. Not that I'm complaining. It's an amazing experience. To be contributing to the making of something that each and every member of Batch 12/12.5 shall keep with them always, is indeed a great honour. :)

If anybody should like to know exactly what it is that I do, well, I'm a 'writer'. Alongside a few others, ie Irina, Wei Ling etc.
My job is, or rather, was (cos it's almost done), to collect club reports from each and every club president. There are 32 clubs in KYUEM. It was NOT an easy task. Hunting people down, nagging at them, urging them to hand in their reports ASAP - oh yes, this was what I did.
You can call me a "collector" I guess, since that really is pretty much what I do, collect things. Apart from club reports, I collected event reports as well.
After all this is done, I am unsure if I am going to do the editing or if we're all gonna do it together. I tell you, checking for grammatical and vocabulary mistakes is NOT simple. It can cause a headache! :O

Other than that, I am still unsure what to write about to submit as an article for the Yearbook. I am so uninspired at the moment. I need inspiration! And I'm to pass it up to Irina by Monday. Aaaah!

2. Student Choice Awards
I'd like to say CONGRATULATIONS to all winners of SCA. Well-deserved, guys, well-deserved. But that does not mean the rest of the nominees aren't great. Each and every one of us is amazing, in our own unique way. :))

3. Perfect five.
So after a very long wait, I've finally received a reply from the University of Bath. Alhamdulillah, they've decided to give me a conditional offer of AAA. I honestly really really didn't put any hopes on Bath. Mostly because my other friends in the engineering area, have already received offers. Partly because I didn't bother replying them when they invited me for their open day - twice! So that makes my application a complete success. (:

4. Fellow London-ers.
Now that most people have received replies from their respective universities, we have all started discussing our firm and insurance choices. And of course, we have started grouping according to unis. I am excited to know that quite a number of people shall be in London, ie UCL, LSE and Imperial. It would be so nice to have a couple of familiar faces going to the same uni as you. At least there will be some sense of familiarity! InsyaAllah we shall all get to where we want.

And the studying continues. Trials start on the 4th April! Let's all succeed.

Burped
xx Saara

A New Beginning From An End

2011-02-18T18:31:00.002+08:00

A week ago, on the night of 9th February 2011, was one of the most emotional moments of my life in KYUEM.

Time to step down.
Time to let go.
Diamond house elections.

I am glad to have Yaya as my successor. And I am equally proud to have Biiancaa run for the post of Vice House Captain. Even before CNY holidays, she was already firm with her decision to run for my post. For that, I will forever feel honoured. The moment Amin and I announced our successors, a whole array of emotions hit me. But I didn't tear up (of course).

I teared up the night before already. During the last taklim conducted by our committee. Why? The juniors may not know but the fact that they sat in front of us, strummed their guitars, and sang, their song choice, was what made Sofie and I feel so...gratified. So...touched. :')

This past week must have been an emotional one for most of my fellow batchmates.
It started off with the Student Council members.
Then, excos and hicom of all four house committees.
Then, last night, was MUSCOM.
Yeah, sure, it felt as if a huge weight was being lifted off my shoulders. And yet, I still felt 'berat hati'.

Apart from the handover(s), another reason for us to be emotional (or more specifically, pissed/annoyed/frustrated) was the problem with network coverage in Lembah Beringin. The problem was the worst for Celcom users, among all else. Can you imagine what happened to make us suffer like this????
WELL. Someone (tangan gatal nak mampus) stole the cable from the Celcom cell tower of Lembah Beringin. Unbelievable! Initially, we heard that the problem was going to last for the next 3 months. Last night, Aliea told me that according to Puan Halijah, by next week, everything should be fine.
Things turned out better than expected after all. Alhamdulillah, when I woke up at 6 ish this morning, I took a look at my phone. And I was shocked to see full bars AND 3G availability. :))

Let's hope for better weeks to come, yes?

Oh. The improved coverage means BBM is back in action. Stupid SOS situation deprived me of hours and hours of BBMing with people around me. AND my tweets have reduced significantly over the past week. Fret not, this won't go on!

*dances around*

Burped
xx Saara

Half Of My Heart

2011-02-03T00:49:00.002+08:00

OK I really should be asleep now. Visiting the Chinese relatives in the morning!
But I just wanna say one thing.

I can't help it if I'm a romantic. Romance is what I live and breathe for. Well in the future la, when I find my man. But. But. It just got me thinking.

What if I fall in love with someone who isn't the least bit romantic? T_T
What if he doesn't shower me with all the lovin I need?
I like surprises. What if he never surprises me?
In every relationship, there's got to be give and take, on both sides. But what if. What if. What if I'm the one doing all the giving and none of the taking? What if. What if. What if I'm the one who initiates everything? T_T

I'm so sorry. I don't know what the hell is wrong with these emotional rollercoasters of mine. It ain't a joyride I tell ya. This is me freaking out at 1 in the morning, about something that isn't even happening till at least a few more years.

Ladies, tell me, we all like romance right?
Oh dear. Please Saara, do not fall for someone who can't give you more than half of his heart. Because in the end you'll be the one left broken, scarred.

Half of my heart.
Bloody hell.
This song goes to you.
Whoever you are.

Burped
xx Saara

The Final Leg

2011-01-20T15:40:00.002+08:00

It's been just over a week since we all returned to KYUEM.
I'm back in my apartment, with my mum and sister, for Thaipusam. :)

Haven't updated this blog since before I went off for my trip to the UK. SO many things have happened since then, which I believe, have all been recorded on Twitter. I'm a bit lazy when it comes to blogging. I think it takes up too much of my time and energy. Plus, to tweet, I can do it via my Blackberry. To blog, I have to do it via web.

Anyway, I'm updating because SOMEONE has been asking me to do so. And by someone, I mean Mister Azri Jasni. :P Satisfied? Not really kan. I'm a lazy bum la. Hehe (:

Well, so many wonderful things have happened throughout my time in KYUEM so far this semester. I daren't believe things will get better than this. Now, here's to studying to get into UCL!

Burped
xx Saara

Aku Masih Dara

2010-12-18T11:13:00.004+08:00

I watched this with my lovely cousin, NADIA ADENAN, 2 days ago. She did a review on it already: http://www.xkissntell.tumblr.com.

I shall save my opinions on this movie for much later.

I have no time to post a long entry because I am off to London tonight!

All I can say is, I like it.

Virginity is a sensitive issue, and it was a risk to bring it up in the form of a movie.

But I praise the director for his boldness.

And it did stir something in me.

Review in a few days' time, once I settle down in Ole' England. (:

Burped,

xx Saara

Love Is a Tangle

2010-12-16T22:52:00.002+08:00

Girl A likes Boy A.
Boy A likes Girl B.

Girl B likes Boy B.
Boy B likes Girl C.

Girl C likes Boy C.
Boy C likes Girl A.

See what a tangle love is?

Well. Today was my breaking point.
My heart is fried.
I am in pain. But I am putting you aside for a while. Just a few months.
If it's meant to be, Sir, it is to be.

I would like to share a section of lyrics of a song I heard today.
Jason Derulo - What If:

What if I'm the one for you
And you're the one for me?
If you are the one then us meeting here is fate
But we can't, we can't tell the future, no
But that's just the beauty of the world we know.

I aplogise if lately my posts have been revolving around love, emotions, matters of the heart.
I'm just in a very fragile state now.
Who is this Sir you wonder?
Biarlah rahsia.

I would like to thank ERNA, my chaletmate, for today. I really needed to hear that.

Burped
xx Saara

Head vs Heart

2010-12-13T22:49:00.002+08:00

You know it's funny how the head and the heart work in such opposite manners.
When you're in a situation (9 times out of 10, a make it or break it one), your head tells you what you should be doing.
But somehow your heart makes you stop. And think it over. The question "What if?" invades your mind like noone's business.
Decisions made by following what your heart tells you to do are mostly rash.
Irrational.
What your head tells you, is superbly rational. Realistic.

That's how we human beings work, I guess. We're weak. We're never perfect.
We know what's right, what's wrong. What we should do, and what we musn't.
But let's face it, we're too weak to be able to not give in to our weaknesses, all the time.
That includes me.

A great example would be my decision to switch from architecture to civil engineering.
Architecture was 85% heart 15% head.
When I actually thought about it, discussed with my dad, I realised that for the past year all I had in mind was what my heart wanted.
But reality won in the end. Civil engineering is 85% head 15% heart.
However, that does not mean I shall live a dull life building things rather than utilising my creativity to design bulidings.
I'm starting to shift my interest bit by bit to more standard structures, but that does not mean I have abandoned architecture. It's still in my heart, definitely.
Civil engineering is a broad branch, and I can actually see myself studying construction, bridges, roads, highways - they require creativity as well, you know.
See, a decision that initiated due to the head, has sparked a newfound passion in me, and it's stealing my heart slowly.

But this one...
My head is telling me no, but my heart says yes.
I've always lived through life, easily letting my head take control, and never my heart.
Back before college.
Back when I was a number one nerd (I miss that nerd actually. You come back naoo can or not?)
Head > heart or heart > head?
*chants head head head*
How now brown cow?

Burped
xx Saara

To bf or not to bf, that is, or rather, WAS, the question

2010-12-09T22:01:00.004+08:00

In my previous post I stated that I'm not ready to be in a relationship.
Well it's not that I don't want to.
So many factors point to one similar conclusion: I'm not going to be in one until I turn 20.

I don't regret it one bit actually.
Back in my school days, so many people around me were paired up.
You see one girl with this one guy, then a few months later, she pairs up with another guy.
And imagine, all four of us were in the same class.

Just imagine.
Being in the same class from age 7, and suddenly at age 16, you realise you're in love with the guy who sits behind you in class.
A part of me(the hopeless romantic part) thinks it's amazing. The other part of me thinks that's just weird and awkward.
But ah, young love. That's why it's called puppy love I guess. You're so sure you're in love with the guy, then after being with him for a while, you realise he isn't the one for you. Despite the breakup you two still remain friends. How does that not have awkwardness written all over it? :O

I thank my lucky stars I was never in a relationship.
Would've ruined me, I tell ya.

And off I went to college, thinking, maybe now I'm ready.
But indeed, a year and a half later, I still am not. I read one of my best friends' blogs recently.
Danielle Zoe Mariner.
What she expressed in her blog, well, that's exactly how I felt before and now.
It's no wonder why we're good friends. (:

I shall now quote her words.
Now, before reality dawned on me, this was what was going through my mind:

For some strange reason today and the past few days I've been having this...acute desire, so to speak, to have a boy friend. Seriously! Please don't laugh. I know it sounds silly but it's true damn it!A real boy friend. Someone I'd be proud to introduce to my parents. Someone I can go visit during summer holiday and chill out with his childhood friends. Someone who I can be completely myself with, no need to hold anything back. Someone who will help me with my walk with God. Someone strong and powerful beside me. Someone who can and will protect me. Someone....Oh my goodness! I just listed out the criterias of a potential husband. Someone please slap me. I need to wake up.Get my degree. Get my masters. Get my job. And then hopefully... there is such a LONG way to go! what on earth do i do in the mean time??

After reality hit me, this is how I felt:

I always knew that part of the reason why at one point of my stay in England I was pining for a boyfriend was because I wasn't getting my source of strength and satisfaction as I needed. Usually I would read the bible and pray and spend time knowing God but these months have been one of dryness, like being in the desert. I needed rejuvenating that it manifested in the form of needing a guy, to bring myself an emotional uplift, so to speak. But the truth is, I was just lazy and taking God for granted. But now I want to come back to my first love, Jesus. Once I establish my true source of life (which is in God) then I'll be ready for a meaningful relationship in the future.God wants us to find our "being" in Him; no human can fulfil them. When we find our life in Him, we will discover we can let go of our demands on others. We can then begin to move in genuine relatonship with them because they are no longer the source of our identity and security. Until this occurs, real intimacy cannot begin to take place. So I say to you, find your source of life in God first. And then let the outpouring of it bless others and the relationships you build with them.

But of course, she is speaking as a Christian. A very devoted one, I can vouch for that. What she is saying is absolutely right. We all get so caught up in finding the "perfect man" that we forget sometimes, about the One who loves us the most. The One who will always be there for us, the One who understands us the most. The One True Creator. And alongside Allah swt, there is our prophet, Rasulullah saw. The one man who gave his all for our religion. The Chosen One.
(Well obviously she phrased her words more beautifully. She's Kelabrit ie a mixture of Kelabit and British. The Bri'ish blood runs in her veins :D)

So. I need time to get closer to my Creator swt, and my Prophet saw, before entering a relationship. And I am, slowly, trying to.
Zoe, you may not know it, but you've just opened my eyes.

And
Sir, I shall still like you.
As a human being liking another human being, however.
Not as a girl liking a boy. (:
You're amazing, just the way you are.
You're so beautiful, inside and out.
But I know I'm not for you, and neither are you for me.
Let it be, Sir, let it be.

Burped
xx Saara

1 Muharram 1432H

2010-12-06T23:30:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah, it's a new year.

I am thankful for still being here. Still breathing. Still living.
And I am thankful that all the people I love and care for, are still here with me, as well.

For the final leg of my life in KYUEM, I only have:

my religion
my family
my friends
UCL

in my mind.

Nothing else.
How silly I was to think I might want to be in a relationship. I don't. I can't afford it.
My time is to be devoted to far more important things.
And plus, all this while, I was wrong. The saying, "Opposites attract", fails to prove its righteousness to me.
You, sir, are my horror. And you shall remain my stranger. Stay away from me.

Burped
xx Saara

THE Dream

2010-12-03T01:27:00.010+08:00

Alhamdulillah. All praises to Allah.

I could say this a million times over.

Your powers, Ya Allah. Allahuakbar.

I have been worrying about this since the day I submitted my UCAS application.

These past few days have been even worse. A few of my friends have been receiving offers. Lagilah cuak kot.

Cuak gila2.

My dream university.

An hour ago, Mas suddenly asked me if I've heard any news from that uni.

I was thinking, great, cuak lagi dah.

Macam mana nak tidur malam ni, gelisah je?

Then 30 minutes later, the red LED light on my Blackberry blinked.

And blinked.

My heart stopped. Hoping it wasn't what I thought it would be.

But it was! :O

I think all those in Batches 12 & 12.5, agree that this is THE most dreaded email.

Ucas Applications Status Notification.

CUAK CUAK CUAK.

I stopped breathing. Prayed. Breathed. Prayed again.

Told myself to stop being ridiculous.

Logged in to UCAS Track.

Clicked on the "Choices" button and closed my eyes. Prayed. Braced myself. It was the moment of truth. Opened my eyes.

And saw this:

:')

This means so much to me, no one but myself has any idea. I even cried minutes after.

I am now a step closer to living THE dream.

Dear people, receiving university offers really is a wonderful feeling. It makes you feel so loved. Kan?

Oh UCL. I have an aim now. And I am going to work hard to get to you.

As Alissa says, I shan't try my best. I shall do my best. InsyaAllah.

This is the view from Gower Street, ie the main gates of UCL, I reckon. Beautiful, isn't it? (:

Google tells me that this is the Engineering department:

To friends who have received the offers that they've always wanted, congratulations! And those heartbroken, fret not. There are better plans for you. A dream is something you make all by yourself, but it comes true with the love and support you receive from all those who care for you. You never know when another door opens up for you. Have faith.

Oh and yes, I shall be sleeping with a smile plastered on my face.

Burped,

xx Saara

Rapunzel

2010-12-02T01:25:00.002+08:00

I loved every bit of the movie.
Takes me back to my younger days. :')
It only seems like yesterday I felt like a princess. And not just any princess. A Disney princess.
And I would always fall for every prince charming.

Side track:
Hi.
I don't wanna keep thinking of you but everyday something related to you pops up in front of me.
They say, distance only makes the heart grow fonder.
I hate to admit it, but it's true.
And I don't like it one bit.

Burped,
xx Saara

Deeper Conversation

2010-12-01T14:25:00.002+08:00

Is your favourite colour green?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outer space?
And now I'm learning you.

Is your skin as fair as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone take a portion of your heart?
Now I'm learning you.

And if you don't mind
Can you tell me all your hopes and fears
And everything that you believe in?
Would you make a difference in the world?

I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I've let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

And if you don't mind
Can you tell me all your hopes and fears
And everything that you believe in?
Would you make a difference in the world?

I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me
Deeper conversations with me

(I've changed the lyrics a bit according to my taste)
I can really relate to this song. ;)

Burped,
xx Saara

Saya Keliru

2010-12-01T00:14:00.003+08:00

Setelah setahun setengah hidup dalam hutan yang bergelar Lembah Beringin, hari ini, terdetik hati saya untuk menulis entri menggunakan Bahasa Melayu.

Kalau Erna, mesti dia cakap saya sengal. Buang tebiat. Betul tak, Erna Firdzalina Mazlan? :p

Maaf. Bahasa Melayu saya agak teruk. Saya membesar dengan bertutur dalam Bahasa Sarawak. Bila mula Darjah 1 pula, lingua franca di sekolah bertukar menjadi Bahasa Inggeris. Maklumlah, sekolah di mana majoriti pelajarnya merupakan Cina. Kaum Melayu amat sukar dicari. Bayangkanlah, menjelang Tingkatan 5, terdapat 4 orang sahaja dalam kelas Pendidikan Islam. :O:O:O:O:O

Apakah tujuan entri ini? Oh. Mari kembali ke isu yang ingin saya sentuh. (Kenapa saya rasa amat janggal, cara saya menyusun ayat? Heh. -_-)

Senang sahaja, sebenarnya. Isu nya ialah: SAYA KELIRU.
Sudah lama saya keliru. Sampai sekarang, masih keliru.
Mengenai apa, anda tanya.
Saya keliru, macam mana nak berkomunikasi dengan orang di sekeliling saya.
Ya. Saya akui. Saya sangat keliru.

Baru-baru ini, saya baru tahu bahawa ada agak ramai orang di KYUEM yang tidak suka menggunakan 'I', 'you', jika bercakap sesama Melayu. Ya, saya memang Melayu (5/8). Tapi, orang lain kena faham.
Saya bukannya Melayu yang dibesarkan di Semenanjung. Saya dibesarkan di Kuching, Sarawak. Maknanya: Saya sepatutnya diberi rukhsah(itu dia!).
Tolonglah faham.

Sebelum masuk KYUEM, saya menganggap bercakap dalam Bahasa Melayu sebagai satu beban. Ya, beban.
Saya hanya bercakap dalam Bahasa Melayu ketika ujian lisan PMR & SPM. Selain itu, saya abaikan. Jadi, sejak saya masuk KYUEM, saya mula bercakap dalam Bahasa Melayu hari-hari. Sekarang saya rasa, seronok pulak.
Tapi saya bertutur tu, guna 'I', 'you' ataupun 'Saara', 'nama orang lain'.

Tak sanggup nak guna 'aku', 'kau'. Saya tahu, menggunakan 'aku' 'kau' bermaksud orang tu selesa dengan kita, dan boleh menganggap kita sebagai kawan rapat. Tapi bagi saya, 'aku' 'kau' agak rude(La terlepas dah, perkataan Bahasa Inggeris). Itu cuma pendapat saya, janganlah terasa ya. Tengoklah diri ini. Sungguh tidak sesuai menggunakan 'aku' 'kau'. Janggal.

Satu lagi, 'saya' 'awak'. Ha. Yang ni. Bukankah biasa digunakan jika "couple" sahaja? Sebab bunyinya agak mesra. Saya tidak pasti. Jika tidak, tolonglah maklumkan diri ini. Saya akan segera cuba menggunakan 'saya' 'awak'.
Serius.

Konklusinya, saya tidak suka perasaan keliru ini. :S
Kawan2 di KYUEM, maafkan saya.
Saya kurang berinteraksi dengan anda, bukannya sebab saya sombong (walaupun ramai sangat orang mengatakan bahawa muka saya sangatlah sombong). Saya sebenarnya baik. Kan kan Erna? :D

Terima kasih atas perhatian anda.
Sekian.

Saara

TIGA

2010-11-30T23:46:00.003+08:00

My 3rd Sem in KYUEM is officially over.

And all that's left - one measly semester. One anticipated to be packed with studying, doing things I never did in KYUEM, more studying, more studying.

Too many things have happened since my last post. My words certainly do not justify those events.

The most memorable things, I'd like to keep it in here. My heart. Call me greedy, but I'd rather not share. Hehe.

OK maybe I can share a few.
First:
I got my uni offers. :) Only after a week my UCAS applications were sent to the universities, Manchester & Nottingham gave me conditional offers, both ABB. Alhamdulillah.
But my close friends know my heart is set on two other unis, UCL as firm and Birmingham as insurance. So at that point I was still waiting in anxiety. A week later, Birmingham's offer came, in the form of AAB. Alhamdulillah.
Now, I'm still waiting for replies from 2 more, Bath & UCL. I'm really hoping for UCL. For so many reasons. Please pray for me k. Tq~

Second:
I'm doing pretty well academically, now.
I wasn't called to see Mr. Azman regarding my Sem Exam results. Good news.
My dad had a chat with my Maths teacher and my tutor on Saturday, Parents' Day. Positive feedback.
I read my report card & teared up. You have no idea how satisfied I am. But there's always room for improvement. InsyaAllah, I'll strive to get straight A's for the next exam.

Third:
My dear dear Physics classmate, Syazwan Asyraf Mohd Sabri, passed away.
Too long a story to tell. All I can say is, he is truly loved by everyone here in KYUEM.
His loss is deeply felt, especially by us, his Physics classmates. Without him, only 6 of us remain. Such a small class. And only we know what our class has been through this semester. Definitely an eventful semester, I must say.

Fourth:
I broke my own record. I performed TWICE during End Of Semester Dinner. Call me crazy.
As if that wasn't enough, I 'kena' sore throat 4 days before D-day. It got worse by the day, but miraculously, got so much better, on the day itself. Alhamdulillah.
First performance was a choir. Yes, KYUEM's first choir. Put together by none other than Aliea Ramli (promote2. :p). We did the Glee version of "Teenage Dream". Hell yeah the final performance wasn't perfect. But we learn from there. And what matters is the fun we all had in preparing.
Second performance was a duet with Imtiyaz. Well except this time, I wouldn't exactly call it a duet. It was more of solo performances, back-to-back. She sang "Deeper Conversation" by Yuna, and I sang "Love Song" by Sara Barailles. She was amazing. I screwed up big time. Nerves, why you mess with me? :O

I think that was a pretty okay wrap-up of my 3rd semester.
No?
My next post. I don't know why but I suddenly feel like blogging in BM.
Wait for it. Though I warn you, this one shall be pretty emotional. :)

Burped,
xx Saara

Of Turning 19

2010-10-07T13:33:00.002+08:00

So I had a splendid 18th birthday last year.
Turning 19 wasn't as good.
My birthday fell on a Friday of a long weekend, the weekend of Minggu Citra Budaya. Everyone was busy.

I was hoping to spend a girls' night out with Hasnor, Aliea and the rest that night.
But Hasnor had to go out with Daeng before he flew off to the UK.
And Aliea had SAT classes. When they broke the news to me I was devastated. It may not have meant anything to them but it did to me, to be able to celebrate the night with them.
I was sad, but I didn't say a word to them about it. So I called my mum and asked her if I could fly home to Kuching.

They were more than happy to have me home, alhamdulillah. So I went out to Bing with my sis and mum that night. Then next night, the 4 of us, including my dad, went to Le Beccari for an amazing dinner.
So that was it. Pretty boring bday huh?
But I was SO happy when the gang sang me a bday song very loudly in the DH during lunch. Led by Naj. :)

Burped
xx Saara

I'm Glad I Went :)

2010-08-22T15:35:00.009+08:00

Yay happy post at last! :):)

Yesterday morning, from 8.30 to 11.45 was IELTS exam. I was wrong. There weren't 50 candidates. Just 40.

It was draining in the sense that we had to do listening, reading and writing all in one go, with no breaks in between. I was so tired after the exams. But it was pretty good. I need Band 8 or 8.5. :D It was shocking because we had to do everything, and I mean, everything, in pencil. Including the essays. And the British Council provided us with a pencil and an eraser, each.

Done with IELTS, I went back to Aliea's chalet to get movies from her (500 Days Of Summer, Love Actually, Just Like Heaven). I'm sorry, I love sappy romantic movies ie chick flicks. Shoot me. Haha.

She locked herself out of her room. Without her keys. We did all sorts of things to try and unlock her room (which I won't mention here). The last method worked and she managed to open her door. Transferred the movies to my hard disk. Done. So I went back to my chalet. Napped for a while and Wei Ling called me to wake me up at 3.30pm.

We were going to go to Tanjung Malim. At first, I thought it was just gonna be me, her, Radhie and Nik Fikri. I was in for a surprise. We sat in the college bus, waiting for the 2 boys to arrive. Bam! Samuel(Sam), Naj, Amir, Fez, Awang and Fawwaz senior(Faw faw) entered. Haha I was shocked! Then Nadeem and Fawwaz junior(Asam boy) entered. And there were, of course, many other people. Aziz and Zamri were sitting in front of me and Wei Ling. :)

The ride itself was pleasant. There were Raya songs karaoke blasting through the bus speakers and the lyrics were on the tv screen. Once we reached Tanjung Malim, we explored the market. Wei Ling really wanted flowers so we stopped by at the flower shop next to Kevin's bubble tea stall. She bought 3 pretty carnations.

Then off we all went to Grand Union to buy groceries and stationeries. We went to the top floor. I NEVER knew there was more than just one floor. It was an interesting discovery. We killed most of our time there. Wei Ling played with the scooter. Fez and Sam were testing the alarm clocks, I swear they were so noisy. The other guys went to see all those kemahiran hidup tools which I don't really care about, being a girl. Haha. Wei Ling told me that Fawwaz junior's pants looked funny and that he looked like a fisherman(sorry Fawwaz!). I told him and he rolled down his jeans. Haha.

Look at Sam. He's not fasting. :P

After what seemed like 30 minutes at Grand Union, we walked over to a dvd shop. We spent quite some time there too. We were supposed to karaoke but I don't know what happened to that plan. Haha. And then, we took 3 taxis to go to Garden Seafood.

I've always heard of the good food there. Finally, last night, I tried the food. What I've been hearing, isn't a myth. It's a fact. THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD. :)

Fikri & Amir

Radhie & Wei Ling

Asam Boy & Faw faw. Funnily, they were sitting together.

The bill came up to RM217.30. Pretty cheap! Considering the food was for 12 people. We paid RM18 each. Then, we decided to get dessert at Secret Recipe. Naj said Secret Recipe was just straiiiiiiight. So off the 12 of us went, walking along the roadside. It took foreveeeeer. SO much for just straight. -_-

The journey was probably the best part. I've missed the boys, their goofiness, their loudness. And last night, I felt it again. After almost a year. :) They sang. They cracked jokes.

Fikri is constantly saying he's beautiful. Haha. I got to know him a lot more last night. I've realised, what a good person he is. Monkey boy, as Hasnor calls him. Haha.

When we reached Secret Recipe, guess who we met? Elena Syaza and her family! After we all settled down, Fikri made a gesture like he was about to whisper to Naj, then asked really loudly, "Who is that girl at the other table? SO UGLY." Haha that made my day. So funny! Haha. Elena ignored, of course. We stayed there till around 10.45pm. Then Radhie, Wei Ling, Fikri and I left first.

It was such a good outing. I swear I haven't spent time with them like that in a reaaaally long time. I'm looking forward to more outings with them in the future. :):)

Burped,
xx Saara

The End Of The Line?

2010-08-20T17:32:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry for the emotional posts lately. I promise I'll be back to my cheerful and optimistic self soon. But for now, bear with me.

I'm sitting in my room now. More like lying down on my bed. I've been thinking about this for months. But I think it got more critical since the new semester began.

I think our friendship has almost completely gone down the drain. I can't remember the last time I actually sat down with him and actually have a proper conversation. We used to do that all the time. We were so close in the first semester. Then in the 2nd sem, the moment we got positions in the house, I could sense that something was gonna change. It wasn't so bad that semester. If we did not have house work, we could still joke around with each other, talk about our personal lives.

Not this semester. I don't understand why he's being so cold to me. It's not like we're doing house work all time. I guess, he's just so used to seeing me as someone he works with, so to maintain a friendship is just difficult. I miss us. I miss the times when we would fool around for no apparent reason. Now, he doesn't even smile at me. If I say something, he'll just give me the wth are you doing look. See how bad our relationship has gotten? :(

I know, he's really stressed now because his uni applications are due tomorrow. But I need to talk to him about this. I've been feeling so sad lately, with my results, and us. I was hoping for a little bit of comforting from him, well he did, but not like how he would, back then. I lost a best friend. And I don't think I can ever find a replacement. Not even in any of the juniors. He is unique. To me, he was the best friend ever, while it lasted. It was nice knowing him. I thought our friendship would last till we grow old. Guess I was wrong. Like I always am.

I digress.

P/S: I have IELTS exam tomorrow. Fast-track. I think only 50 people are allowed to take it this early. Alhamdulillah. I'm praying for Band 8 or above. Amin.

Burped,
xx Saara

A Good Wake Up Call

2010-08-18T23:15:00.002+08:00

I'm better now. I've been reflecting, my ways in the past, and my ways here in college. I was shocked to come to the realisation that I did indeed work harder when I was in school. I guess, here in KYUEM, the many events it has to offer has managed to sidetrack me. I am vulnerable. I am but a child, stuck in the physique of an almost 19-year old. But I am strong. I know that.

So I pick myself up. I guess, hey, sitting for 13 papers in May/June 2011 is not a bad thing. InsyaAllah, I could just end up with 3A*s. As I've said in my previous post, stories of my seniors have inspired me. This one senior, he got a D for his AS. He resat in the next May/June session, and BAM! He achieved an A*. Inspiring no?

I guess, also, that the results I received is my wake-up call. It's to tell myself, that this is A-levels. It's not UPSR or PMR or SPM anymore. This is the real shizz. Acknowledge it. It's time for change. It's time for even more hard work. It probably also means that I am doomed for singlehood until A-levels end. I've stopped caring, really. When I get my butt to UK, there'll be plenty of good guys to choose from. Rather than subjecting myself to jerks all the time. Or if not jerks, then heartbreak of liking a good guy but him not liking me back. Story of my life. But hey, I need to stay single so that I can have more 'me' time and study study study.

Allah is Most Gracious, Most Merciful. He knows whatever there is on this Earth. I thank You Allah, for this wake-up call. I pray that You will continue to guide me. I acquire knowledge, for You Allah. You are my Creator and my Destroyer. And to only You I turn in times of vulnerability and despair.

Amin.

Burped,
xx Saara

I Guess I Just Have To Accept

2010-08-15T20:34:00.002+08:00

So, on Thursday, 12 August 2010, the results for May/June AS results were released.
Checking my results this time round was 2568587148147 scarier and more nerve-wrecking than during my school days. Why?
Because we had to check online. 2 days before, all of us had to make our way to the Examination Department and take our individual usernames & passwords in order to log in to the CIE results website. o.O

And so results day came. I'm happy for my friends who managed to score straight A's. Radhie, Wei Ling, Arvind, Deena, Irina, Eju, Aziz.
Sadly, I'm not one of them. I'm not revealing my results here. I'm in too much pain. Yes it has been 3 days since I've received my results. I'm slowly getting better. But I'm still hurting.

Fila and I, we believe, this time, we didn't have rezeki. I did question, why my hard work didn't pay off this time? But the answer I came with was simple. Allah probably has greater plans for me next year.

I received many words of encouragement from friends, which has, in a way, helped me get through this. Kist's BBM to me were very motivating. Her words were:

"Always remember that you have to fall before you rise, and when you rise, you rise baby! ;)"

I guess, I've been at the top for too long. Three public exams straight, I got straight As. I have always wondered, there must be a day when I might fall. 12 August 2010 was the day. I'm going to pick myself up again. I will work harder.

My inspiration? My seniors. Hearing their results was really inspiring. So many of them managed to grasp A*s. Which is so amazing. The one person I'm making my idol as of now is Amirah Anis Khair. She was privately sponsored too. But she worked hard for 2 years, and it paid off, with her achieving 4A*s.

It was embarrassing to cry while I was at the academic block during breaktime, which was right after I checked my results. But what could I do? The tears wouldn't stop. I really cried the crap out of myself. I'm sure the juniors don't understand why those of us who didn't get great results cried. Well, give it a year, then they'll understand. When it will be them in our shoes.

I was devastated. Broken. And I was hoping for support or words of encouragement from my parents. All I got was a scolding from my dad. I know I've failed him this time. For the first time in my life. But, I was really hoping for him to tell me it's ok to mess up once in a while. That it's ok, I'm still his daughter no matter what happens. I didn't hear any of that. Even now, he's not really talking to me. Not treating me the same. I'm so sorry I failed you daddy. Why do you think I cried so badly? Because I knew you'd be disppointed in me. It's ok. If my family isn't going to support me, I have a few of my friends, especially Fila.

Only my closest friends in my batch know of my results. I try to be discreet about it, because I am embarrassed of it. And I reckon only one person in the junior batch know, because I don't know why, to me, this person is a brother-like figure (maybe not for him though).

Ya Allah, You are always fair. What you give me, there must be a reason for it. Please, let this be my one and only failure. Please, grant me great results in my A2 exams, and if I'm repeating any papers, in those AS papers as well. Amin.

Burped,
xx Saara

The Past Stays, The Future Awaits

2010-08-01T18:41:00.002+08:00

I will always miss my KYUEM seniors. Always. They have brought colour into my life.

Alissa and I arranged a surprise lunch for Hasnor on the 29th. We've been planning for a week. So that day, I sat with Afiah at the Japanese Garden, waiting for Alissa and Razlan to arrive. The moment I spotted Alissa, memories of her and the other seniors came flashing back. We hugged. She and Afiah hugged. It was one of the best moments I've had this semester.

Then, I saw Daeng, Hairul and Jijul walking towards the Exam Department Office. I was shocked. I didn't know they were gonna be there too. But it was a pleasant surprise, to be sure! :):)

I'm not gonna be boring by describing what happened over lunch. What matters is we all remember it very clearly. And we all had a great time. Reminiscing. It was insanely weird seeing the 5 of them wearing visitor tags. It was just 2 months ago that they left KYUEM.
Selling bubble tea that night made me miss the seniors even more badly. They were so enthusiastic, so excited at the sight of bubble tea. And that was all in the past. And it will always remain as wonderful memories.

Now, I should look into the future. So far, Batch 13 have been okay. As for girls, I only know the Diamond juniors, a few Topazians and Garnetors. No Sapphireans yet. And as for the boys, of course I know the Diamonders. Yang lain, still in the process. I guess sharing a class with some of the juniors helps.

I'm on a mission to look for another brother or son. Brother to teman Fez or son to teman Jimmy. I already have 2 daughters so enough girls for now.
P/S: If there are any juniors reading this now, I'm sure they have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about. Just ask and I'll explain. :)

Burped,
xx Saara

SEM 3

2010-07-25T15:01:00.002+08:00

As of now, life in KYUEM's been good. Seems like I've been going through induction week all over again. But minus morning exercise and compulsory sessions at the surau, and plus classes. Thank god I'm not one of the facilitators for the induction week. That would've really exhausted me mentally.

Juniors. What can I say about them?

So far I'm VERY thankful that the Diamond juniors are here. They are really what we seniors needed and so much more. Alhamdulillah.
Omg I'm a senior now! It still hasn't sunken in yet, that fact. When the juniors asked for my signature, most of them referred to me as 'Kak Saara'. Now, if any juniors happen to know me, they shall not call me Kak. The Diamond juniors know it already. Good.

Hmm it's still early to say or feel anything yet. But. That's just about as much I can say. ;)

Burped,
xx Saara

Truly Friends For Life

2010-07-14T22:50:00.002+08:00

Spent 5 hours with Samantha, Geraldine and Janice today. Janice just returned to Kuching so today was the first time I've seen her since my holidays began. Today was the 2nd meet-up with Sam and Ger though.

You know it never fails to amaze me what a great friendship we have. Every single holiday that we get, we always manage to meet up, despite our different schedules and lifestyles. These girls know and understand what do's and don'ts I have to follow as a Muslim. For that, I truly thank them. Every single time we decide on a place to eat, be it for lunch or dinner, priority is that the place serves halal food & drinks. And alhamdulillah, up till now, every place we've been to is halal.

What I love about us, is that, no matter how long we have not seen each other, when we meet up, it's as if we just saw each other yesterday. The familiar comfortable feeling, no awkwardness at all. If there's silence, it's a companiable one. There's always the exchange of stories about the new place and new people. And of course, new looks as well.

Lunch today was amazing. We went to an amazing new bakery/cafe, Delizze, which I would rate 5 stars. They have the freshest fruit tarts. :) Though the cinema we went to didn't have Sex and the city 2 (How could they, right? Total bummer), we went shopping. Then we went for 'tea' at Chicago 7 and stopped by at the shop next to it for some bubble tea. It was a great day.

The next time I'll be seeing these girls is in September, for Raya holidays. The best thing about being in KYUEM is being able to fly back for Raya. In the UK, there will still be lectures even during Raya. Sucks.

My best friends are really awesome. Sam's entering Warwick Uni. Zoe managed to grasp an offer from LSE. They're both reading law. Janice is entering King's College in 2011 as she chose to defer her entry. Ger's entering IMU and doing half there and half in Edinburgh. They're both taking medicine. And Ira, well, she's doing pretty well now, taking a diploma in civil engineering at UITM. Honestly. How do I top that? No do not even bring up Oxbridge. I gave that up when I realised how difficult it is to get in, let alone cope with the constant pressure I might receive while studying there. I hope to enter Imperial College or UCL to obtain a Masters in Civil & Environmental Engineering, with a year done in Melbourne U. That's my ideal goal right now.

I am 95% sure I'm dropping architecture to take civil engineering. I will definitely look back in years to come, stop, and think, "What if...?". But parents are right most of the time. If they say my personality is best suited as a civil engineer then that should be it. If they don't have confidence in my art, due to years of not taking art, and if I myself am not confident, then that is that. I honestly thought I'm a strong-willed person who will stand by my decision to the end. But who would've thought that one session with my dad made me rethink everything? Point: If I take architecture, 6 years in uni, no "Ar" title yet, and it'll only be a degree. If I take CE, 4 years in uni including a yr abroad, an "Ir" title and it'll be a Masters. Realistically, CE would be the better choice. No?

Wait. What did all this have to do with my post title? -_- I do this every single time. I start off on track then I stop when I realise I brought in something completely different from what I initially wanted to say. Haha. So I should stop now. But before that, I wana make a wish. Ya Allah, tolonglah kurniakan keputusan AS yang cukup bagus untuk hambamu ini mendapat offer daripada Imperial atau UCL. Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Berkuasa dan Maha Memahami. Amin.

Burped,
xx Saara

Is Something THAT Wrong With Me?

2010-07-11T01:25:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry but I can't take this anymore. Boys come up to me asking about my close friends that they're interested in. Or about my younger much prettier sister. Never about me. It's your choice, believe it or not, no guy has ever shown the slightest interest in me. As a girl, that really hurts my self-esteem tau. Like, am I invisible?

I tell you, the day a guy actually approaches any of my close friends, asking about me, will be one of the most defining moments in my life. Hey, I don't wanna die unmarried. Heh.

What's more disappointing is my guy friends here in college oogling over my younger sister. Girls out there, how insulting is that? Not that there's anything wrong with my sister. But it indicates that everything about me is wrong that they fail to see me as dateable. They started as gentlemen who put us girls first in everything. Now, all I see are a bunch of jerks who push us aside in a subtle way, by not calling us for meals or sitting with us for events, who, once they realise they'd never want to date us, stopped wanting to know us more. There's so much more about me & my other girl friends that they don't know and don't have any plans to know. Hey, who ever said that you guys are the hottest of the hottest in college? You'll see. We can find juniors who will be able to treat us better than you ever treated us. If you don't need us then we don't need you either. If you no longer want to try having conversations with any of us then just stop because we can't care less anymore.

Among all of them, I'm most dissapointed in one in particular. I thought I knew you. How close we got in our first semester that you were this close to being my best friend. Turns out I don't know you as much as I thought. I hope things get better in our third semester.
P/S:I do not see this person as more than a friend so don't make false assumptions.

Burped,
xx Saara

Tears Should Be Viable

2010-06-18T15:47:00.003+08:00

I refuse to state how long it has been since my last update. Trust me, I'm aware of how long it's been. Now, what have you missed?

Since the last post, I've been working my butt of for my AS exams. 10 papers. Pretty crazy stuff.
Alhamdulillah it's all over now. The irony is, I think I did best for Chemistry, which is the only
subject that I'm taking up to AS only.

My stats paper for Maths, was upsetting because 2 nights before the paper, my badan masuk angin. It got so bad that I would vomit every 10 minutes. The day before the paper, I could hardly walk properly without vomitting. In the end Pn Rog(bless her) told the matron to bring me out to Tanjung Malim to get a jab in my butt. I did. And I ate my charcoal. And I felt much better, thank god. But I somehow feel that I did badly for my Stats paper. :(

Overall, Physics won the toughest paper of the year. Paper 1 was tough enough, Paper 3 was plain weird & we'd expect CIE to go easy on us for Paper 2. They didn't. All I can do now is pray. And Econs was relatively easy, which worries me because I'm afraid the A grade will be higher. Again, all I can do now is pray.

OK I'm done talking about that. Now, my post title is 'Tears Should Be Viable'. This has everything to do with the seniors. Last night, we had our End Of Semester Dinner. It was probably the last time we juniors will ever see our seniors all together under one roof. The dinner was everything I wanted and more. I managed to snap photographs with all the people I wanted to. After all of that was over, I felt like crying, but I didn't.

I will really miss my seniors. Those who have been extremely nice to me, those with unique personalities which makes life here interesting, each and every one of them. I was touched when Farrah Azu, Amanda, Azri & Syawal asked to take a photo with me. And the fact that the seniors who me, Hasnor & Midgy approached were so nice, made me feel so warm inside.

A few moments which I will always remember are when:

Ex-Diamond Housecaptain Aslam said, my photo with him will be a good luck charm, to bring Diamond to the top so that we can win the HouseCup next year. InsyaAllah.

I requested Syawal to say something in Bahasa Swk & he said, "Kamek sik ingat." (I don't remember) Then he said, "Taik ogek" (You know what I have no idea how to translate this :p). I burst out laughing at that, and he laughed when he saw me laughing.

Us girls took a photo with Azam Adli & after we were done, he said that he felt like a pimp. Cute. Haha.

we took photos with the most random people in college. It was awkwardly funny.

Well, I left the DH with a satisfied feeling. Then there was our final Diamond taklim. It was, in my opinion, the best taklim we have ever had. Our seniors made a speech, one by one, and each and every one of them had very valid keypoints. And then, we all went in a circle, 'salam' them one by one. I actually cried after I went back to my room. Who would have known that among all the seniors, I will miss my Diamond seniors the most? They are the nicest people I know here. I can't imagine being able to get throught interhouse competitions without them around. Their spirit, their participation, their sheer loudness. I'll miss them. Qili told me to take care of someone, and I promise with all my heart I will. We shared a long hug, and that made me feel so very sad. Net told me to take care of Fez. I will, if he lets me, that brother of mine. He's a good boy, and if Net wants me to take care of him, I'll try.

We cheered together as Diamonders, one last time, and just like that, it was all over. When will be the next time we get to see all our seniors together? Only Allah knows.

Burped,
xx Saara

What's Up?

2010-04-06T14:39:00.002+08:00

Trials, that's what's up. 2 papers done, another 8 to go! :)
Alhamdulillah both were pretty ok. I'm so hoping for A's!
These 2 weeks, there are no classes. Tomorrow I have Chemistry practical exam at 8am, then I'm free right up till Monday next week. What will I do?? Well study of course but it can get pretty boring at times. Gahh.

Currently I'm watching my Simgapore Chinese drama, "Together". It's reaaally good. Reminds me a lot of "Little Nyonya". Well it's probably because the main actor & actress are the same. -.-

You know what? It's never been so good not having a silly little crush on anyone. This has been ongoing for 3 weeks now. I feel goooood. Just now, I had lunch with Aliea at the cafe. We were carrying 2 gardenia classic jumbo bread loafs and then nerd walked in to buy his lunch. Hehehehe we still laugh about it. You know. Like, how the hell did I even like him in the first place? But the thing I like about having crushes on people you never talk to, is they have not the slightest idea who you are & so they have no idea that you like them. I think I quite like not having anyone.

It's been like that for almost 19 years now, you know. I don't think I would know how a relationship is supposed to work and stuff. See, I still do believe that there is such a thing called love. Those who are blessed enough to have that, well I envy them. Lately I've been thinking, maybe I'm not cut out to be loved by anyone after all. If there is anyone, I want that person to be man enough to say it straight to my face. But no, I don't think so.

Burped,
xx Saara

I Just Had To, Didn't I?

2010-03-06T18:38:00.002+08:00

If you've read my previous post, I'm sure you'll get what I'm trying to say in this post.
At 10.00pm on 17 Feb 2010, I was announced as the Vice HouseCaptain of Diamond.
I got what I wanted, didn't I?

And yet there's this part of me which says you just got yourself into trouble, missy.
Those closest to me: Aliea, Hasnor, Mika, Wei Ling - wonder why the hell I'm so busy.
I guess it's because I'm still learning to balance my time. Between being President of Creative Club & Vice HouseCaptain of Diamond, I don't have much time to fit in other things. Other than studies, of course.

All I want right now is not to be busy. Events come one after the other. After organising the Creative Fair 2010, which, I think, went well, I thought I would be less busy. But now, Diamond work is really piling up as interhouse events are coming one after the other.

Allah save me! I. Want. To. Concentrate. On. My. Studies. Trials on April 5. OMG.

Aaaand please tell me why I always fall for the weirdest & most eccentric of guys (without their knowledge though)? I'm SO over pluto-stringcheese-starer-paper. And now I'm into Nerd. May God help me. Haha.

Burped,
Saara xxx

Bo

2010-02-16T23:28:00.002+08:00

Gah I'm back in college. I think the CNY holidays were waaaaay too short. Come on. Most of the people I know aren't starting school/college/uni till next Monday. KY's such a wet blanket.

Of course, I spent my time home & nothing academic, just because. I did go visiting for 2 days, did some catching up with some of my high school friends, watched 'Valentine's Day' which isn't as bad as the reviews stated.

Had a bad day today. My dad was in a bad mood, I was being all fifi too, I miss my fat kittens, my calculator battery died, I don't have the right cable to plug in my hard disc into my lappy. Pffffffft.

Tomorrow night's Diamond elections, and I've been contemplating on running for Housecaptain. I didn't run for any post in the Student Council, which surprised many people, but I guess the whole student body isn't my main concern. I find myself more attached towards my duty as a Diamonder, and I've realised that Diamond is really what I want to concern myself with. Actually, all I want is to be Vice, but in order to be Vice, we have to run for Captain, so here goes! Wish me luck. :)

Aaand I have to plan for Creative Fair 2010. Apparently, last year, the senior batch, hence my super seniors, planned CF2009. Sooo in actual fact, my seniors should be planning this. But it's allright, Najib needs a break. Gahhh I'm on such a tight schedule this week. Allah, please please please help me balance my time & NEVER abandon my studies. Amin.

Oh, and on 1 Feb 2010, I lost my phone. Yes, the very one that my dad got for me in Singapore waaay before it was out in Malaysia. The sentimental value of that phone is really priceless. To whoever who took it, GO TO HELL. Seriously. I really mean it. And to further verify that 1Feb was indeed a bad day, that evening, I fell into the longkang. I received a big almost heart-shaped bruise on my knee. It was horrifying to look at it. Thank God after 2 weeks, I can barely see any of it left.

And for quite a few months now, I've been keeping up with this guy's blog. At first, I reaaaally didn't like his mentality & his perception towards those who are worse-off than him. Dude, I know you're totally rich, but you don't have to go to the extent of looking down on other people. Not all worse-off people take advantage of the better-off.

But then, after reading more, I came to the impression that he wasn't bad at all. In fact, I thought he is one of the most decent guys I've come across. Stories of his family captivated me, & I even decided to add him on FB. Then, after reading more, I realised, he's too much of a perfectionist. His whole family. There's nothing wrong with that, but I would never be able to live like that. It seems to me, from reading his blog & his elder brother's blog, that they think money can buy happiness. Well, that's a big fat NO for me. Money can't buy love. If you fight with your girlfriend, buying her expensive items might make her happy temporarily, but it's not wholesome. I know I wouldn't be happy. A hug or a cuddle would be the best present ever, for me. I don't even know what the point of talking about this guy, his brother, or his family is, cause he apparently thinks I'm a stalker, which sucks cause I'm just one of his many readers who find his family interesting. But anyways, I just wanted to say, I deleted him from my friend list in FB cause he seemed cold. RICH GUYS WHO THINK THEY'RE EVERYTHING A GIRL WANTS. THINK AGAIN.

Bye.

Burped,
Saara Xxx

The People Who Matter

2010-01-29T20:49:00.002+08:00

HASNOR. Without her, I don't know how I would've made it through so far. I remember our awkward induction week times, our Naekkeo times, our Korean crazy times. It's true, we don't spend as much time together anymore, but we both know that we can depend on each other anytime, I hope.

RADHIE. Known this boy since we were little. We're not exactly really close here in college, but hey, we have each others' back, and that's all that matters. Plus, he has his girl to take care of now. He better take extra good care of my daughter, or else!

AWANG. I've given up on calling him Adrian. Awang actually sounds nicer & more unique. He's always not there during mealtimes, but he does appear sometimes. It's good to have him around and he's always enthusiastic about booking flights back to Kuching. Haha.

FEZ. Omg I seriously don't know how I would survive college without this boy. Adikku. He is like my guy best friend. He always has lame jokes but that's what keeps life in this jungle interesting. He's so immature & yet he knows how to make me feel happy when I'm sad. Contradicting, much. This brother of mine deserves a girl who truly loves him for who he is. I wish him luck on that.

ALIEA NADIRA RAMLI. Omg this girl. I don't know how we got so close, but we did. It all started with Maths class I guess. At first, we kinda hated each other. During induction week, she thought I was mean, & I thought she was mean. Haha figures. You all have NO idea how much life sucks now without her. She's been away for a week now due to eye infection. I feel awkward without her here. :(

MIKA, WEI LING, JIMMY. My 3 children. They are so wonderful & I'm glad to be their mum. I just wish I chose the right guys as their dads, instead of the jerks I ended up with. Sigh.

DEENA & FILA. Hugs & kisses are our norm. I love them. They make me feel better.

SETH NAJ AMIR ZUL ZIKRI ANAS MIDGY DHANA ALMAZ AFIAH.

Some people don't understand why we all love each other so much. Why we all drag chairs to one table just so we can talk to each other together. People think of us as too liberal, when they don't understand us. Assumptions have tendencies to be inaccurate. Get to know us, say hi, join us, and you will see why we bond that way.

Burped,
Saara xxx

2nd Sem

2010-01-29T20:21:00.002+08:00

Well, it's been 3 weeks since I returned to KYUEM for my 2nd semester. How do I feel? Pretty emotionless, actually.

I realise my main goal this sem is to sit for my Maths, Physics, Economics & Chemistry AS and get my A's. That's probably why I'm soooooo boring this sem. My daughters, Mika & Wei Ling, agree. They've been complaining how I'm spending less & less time with them now. Hey, I don't blame them. But seriously, it's time for me to get my priorities straight.

I guess everything really does happen for a reason. Like how I wanted to act in Bangsawan, but I didn't get through the auditions last sem. Alhamdulillah, I have more time to study rather than busy rehearsing for something that wouldn't help me in my studies anyway. And the fact that I'm still single is a very good sign too. I seriously doubt I'm ready for a relationship with exams coming soon. That would really really distract me, especially since, it would be my first.

I hope Allah will continue to guide me so that I never forget why I'm even here. To get my A's. To get my scholarship, again, which I hope, I won't reject, again. To get into my targeted university, UCL.

On a lighter note, juniors have arrived! I'm glad to say I'm very much pleased with the Diamond juniors. Me & Mas crashed the girls' chalet before they were even officially introduced to everyone. Each & every one of them are unique & it's pretty good knowing I have people who I can really relate to.

Aaaand over the holidays, I received an unconditional offer frm Najib, the president of Creative Club, for the president post. I took time to consider, but in the end, what the heck, I accepted! So me & Imtiyaz have managed to get 28 new members. Yay us! I hope we can come up with creative & fun activities at least once every 2 weeks to keep the club going.

Also, I know it might be weird to get excited over this, but I got 12 out of 13 correct answers for my Econs test last week! :) See, I was doing pretty well in the beginning, then towards the end of last sem, I did pretty badly in my essay writing, so I really felt like giving up. I was really really upset and I kept having negative thoughts, like I just can't get Econs, I suck at it. But this test has really boosted my confidence & I'm going to work super hard to ace this thing.

On a more personal note, I've been trying to figure out this person since last sem. Eccentric, this person. But that's why I'm curious. But what happened yesterday confirmed my suspicions that this person is a jerk, so goodbye. Mr. Darcy, please walk in soon. After I'm not stressed about exams anymore. Which is in about 5 months' time. Come on please please?

Burped,
Saara. xxx

After A Very Long Time

2010-01-11T09:30:00.002+08:00

Okay, so I haven't been updating this blog. Nothing surprising, really. I'm lazy to update my blog, I'm lazy to upload photos onto Facebook. I should change. Seeing that it's a new year after all. HAHA we'll see about that!

So today's the day I return to KYUEM. After 7 very short weeks of holidays. Many things have been going on during the holidays, the worst of things happened during the 7th week ie my granduncle passed away. Innalillah. Other than that, well my parents returned from Haji & we went to Perth for our usual trip.

Wish I could've been much much more productive, in the academic area I mean. Sigh. But what's gone is gone.

I promise to myself that I will be a BIG nerd once this semester kicks off. Less cafe time, less RC time, less sports in the evening time, more chalet time, more surau time, more me time. Aaaaand with General studies starting this sem, I no longer have free blocks. Full timetable! :(

One thing to look forward to(sort of) is JUNIORS. Batch 12.5. Well I know there won't be more than 100 students entering tomorrow, but new faces is always something to look forward too.

I think that was a good enough update! For those who actually bother to read my blog, sorry for the lack of updates. Drop me a shoutout & I'll update for you.

Ciao!
xx Saara

Isn't It So True?

2009-11-01T15:50:00.002+08:00

We don't always get what we want.

Some people never get what they want.

Instead, we get what we don't want.

Some people always get what they don't want.

Let's just cherish that instead.

Sometimes, what we don't want is what's better for us.

We just don't realise it.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

My Favourite Block...

2009-10-11T11:33:00.002+08:00

...is Block 5.

I have Physics for Block 5. Reasons why I heart Physics class?

1. I have my favourite people in it.
Hasnor, Fez & Adrian. It's the only class I share with Hasnor so it means quite a lot to me. :)

2. My teacher is really nice. She genuinely cares for us. Kak Ina.

3. It's the only class in which I actually really interact with all my classmates. For real.

So....

Hasnor, Fez & Adrian need no explaining. I talk about them too much. Haha.

In Physics class, there's also my petsib, Judo. Again, no explaining about Judo.

The other 2 girls, apart from me & Hasnor, are Nabila & Maisarah. Belle & Mai. They're really
nice people. Mai likes to disturb people. Hahaha.

The other boys, Zamri, Syazwan & Ariff Ismail. They're entertaining in their own way. Zamri
is very observant, Syazwan has really nice eyelashes, so much so that I wanna switch mine with his, and Ariff can be quite funny, especially when he's explaining on the board.

My table is the best! It's ONE MALAYSIA as there's Malay (me), Chinese (Khong) & Indian (Vicky). Hahaha cute huh?

I have fun with my tablemates. Vicky likes to tease Khong & I go along with it. Both of them are
really really kind & smart & helpful. Yesterday, as this week was a short weekend, we had classes till 1pm.

During Physics, I asked Khong if he attended the Diwali Night organised by Indian Cultural Club the night before.

I danced to Dola re dola from Devdas & was a model for the fashion show that night. Hahahha. I can't believe I did all that. So anyways, Khong said he was there, and guess what he said?

We all burst out laughing when we heard what he said.

He told me, " YOU'RE VERY GOOD AT SHAKING."

-_-

Hahahahhaha. ROTFL. My god. Hahahahahahaha.

Khong, you're awesome! Can't believe you said that.

Vicky was also teasing me yesterday. We all received our Student ID card already. So we showed each other ours. In case you guys didn't notice, most of the time, when I take photos, my head wouldn't be straight, but slanting to the side, slightly.

Vicky laughed at this. He told everyone that when my card is straight, my head is slanting. But if we tilt the card slightly, my head will be straight. I swear it's true, no matter how funny it is! Hahaha.

Till the next time I'm rajin enough to update. I'm out, people!

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Back to The Jungle

2009-09-27T00:22:00.004+08:00

Today's my last day here in Kuching.

Flying back to KL at 5.35pm via Air Asia with Awang Adrian & Radhie.

:(

And then it's straight to the jungle for me. I do refer to KYUEM as the jungle in an affectionate way. I really do. I love the place.

But somehow you can just never stop yourself from feeling 'she bu de' or keberatan to leave your home.

Once I'm back in the jungle, I'll probably be happy again.

It's the people I'm looking forward to. None else. Just the people.

I miss you KYUEM people.

And yet, I feel like never leaving my comfort zone, that is my home, here in Kuching.

This shall be my last post before I embark on the 2nd half of the 1st semester at KYUEM.

I'll TRY to update this blog more. TRY.

Till then, take care, all!

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Of Turning 18

2009-09-25T02:45:00.025+08:00

At exactly 11.55pm on 24Sept2009, I turned 18!

Aka legal! Haha.

Feelings?

Great, I suppose! But as stated by Radhie, me being legal, ain't gonna make any difference. Haha I'm me and I don't do stuff. If you know what I mean. ;)

But I guess all this hype about being legal might be a tad exaggerated. Even if we're 18, do we really have the green light to drink or smoke cigarettes? Drinking is strictly prohibited for us Muslims(I'm glad there's such a law in Islam), and smoking is bad for our health.

So why do them? Just for the fun of it? Beats me.

I'd rather not.

What was the first thing I wanted to do when I turned 18?

Watch any movie I want without worrying! Hahaha.

Bet none of you knew that I close my eyes everytime I come across scenes that are too delicate for the eyes to witness. Hahahha I've been doing that since young, and I guess the habit sticks with you when you've done it too many a times.

So now I'm 18, I should braven up, keep my hands away from my eyes and try to endure whatever scenes that I might come across on the screen! Haha.

Anyways, enough of this whole legality issue. About my birthday! :)

I wanna thank EVERYONE, and I mean, EVERYONE who wished me well!!

I can't list everyone down, coz it'll take aaaaaages. But I can name a few. So. Let's see.

A MILLION GAZILLION INFINITY THANKS to:

Middle petsis, Ecah, for being the first person to wish me & the ONLY person who sempat call me before Celcom went haywire the whole day. She even sang for me. The sweetest bday wish ever.

A senior in KYUEM, Syawal, for being the first person to wish me on Facebook(LOL). Even though I don't know him very well, at all. Haha.

The rest of my petfamily, Kak Nisa, Daeng & Judo(in ascending order, from earliest to latest). Kak Nisa texted me, while Daeng & Judo wrote on my FB wall.

Nadira, my best friend since we were both 2 yrs old, who wished me immediately when she reloaded her credit. I miss her. Take care in UITM Kota Samarahan, you eternal beauty, you. :)

Alissa, for being the 2nd person to wish me on FB. Hahaha.

Kak Aimi & Evone, for being the 2 people who wished me both by texting & on FB. So sweet.

Hasnor, my emo best friend at KYUEM, along with her awesome chaletmates, Aliea, Afiah & Alifah. You girls know I love you & your chalet. I'm always willing to walk all the way from Diamond to Topaz just to see you. :p

My darling chaletmate, the one I tell everything to, no secrets, Sophie. Thanks for being the only chaletmate who wished me Sophe. Love ya.

Hafiz, my twin cousin, for being 10 minutes, and hence, a day, younger than me.

The gang, Radhie, Seth, Fez, Zul, Naj & Mika. How do I survive college without you guys? Haha.

Syahira, Irina, Amir, Azman, Aiman Arif & Kesh. Friends and facis in Group 4, induction week. You guys are infinitely full of awesomeness!

Mira Midgy, Rina, Sara & Vicky, my CP Indian dancemates. Mira, aww you were the first person to text me! And Rina, you know I won't go sightseeing with you again, but I still love you. Sara, I miss you too!!

Because I know so few seniors, I'll just list down those who wished me, other than those already mentioned. Bubakr, Kun Kun, Boon Seong(he's a super super senior lol), Shifa, Amirul Zarif, Encik Azri Jasni & Farrah.

Dex, Bren, Dra, Belle, Phoebs, Biju, Mich Wong, Ashley Lee Yue Chuan, Nel, Joel, Vien, Chang Mien - some of the Lodge people - I love you, and take care wherever you are!

My family members, my whole entire family, even though some of you(even my nenek & atuk) were confused between my bday date & Hafiz's. We can't help it if we're just a day apart. Haha.

ALL other Lodge School people and KYUEM people who wished me. I love you guys.

Done with all the thanking, I wanna express my disappointment. Yes, I was disappointed. Dissapointed towards:

1. My BEST FRIENDS. Sam, Ger, Zoe & Kim. What happened? You girls didn't wish me! In fact, you ignored me the whole day. I'm upset. Sigh.

2. Awang Adrian Awang Kasumar. The rest of the gang at KY all wished me, except for you. You awesome friend, you. Is it so hard to wish this friend of yours a happy birthday? Sheesh. Oh right, Wei Ling didn't wish me either. Sigh.

3. My CHALETMATES. Only Sophie wished me. Erna & Ummu, what happened? You girls know I love you. We may not be the best of friends, and we may not hang out with the same circle of friends, but we do have a good relationship, no? I'm upset.

SO what did I do on my birthday?

Nothing special, but enough to make me happy.

I went shopping with my parents & sister. Spent RM370, of which RM99 was spent on a friend. Hahaha. I rarely spend so much in one go! Everytime I go shopping, I calculate & I ask myself if whatever it is I wanna buy is worth the price. More often that not, the answer is no. Haha.

If I had all the money in the world, I wouldn't have to worry about things being too expensive. Agreed? =)

After a day at the mall, we had dinner. By we, I mean me, my sister & my parents. It's a family tradition that we have dinner outside during birthdays. Most of the time we go to Le Beccari at Merdeka Palace. Food's good. That's what matters. Haha.

After a great Italiano dinner, I spent around 30 minutes at Rose's house. My parents dropped me off. I actually planned to drop by at her house just to pass her a birthday cake I bought for the 2 of us. Just so you know, we share the same birthday. She's special to me because we have so much in common, and I'm glad I bumped into her so many times before we finally became friends. :)Instead of just passing her the cake, I ended up cutting both of our cakes with her. We blew the candles and everything. As I looked around me, I saw many familiar faces & some unfamiliar ones. Of course, Hasnor was there.

Hasnor's good friend, Ezreah (Ez), who came to my house during Raya.

Alli, Abang, Fakri.

There was Fakri's friend, Aizat, who I think was in my Kindergarten gang back in those days, but I'm not so sure. Haha.

And Ezan, who was in Lodge until he moved to St Joseph in Primary 4. That night was the first time I've seen him in 8 years! Haha.

And Afiq, Rose's friend whom I remember meeting briefly when he came to visit her during Petronas Educamp.

And there were the twin girls, Munie & her sister. Apparently, they told me that we went to the same mengaji centre, Al-Falah, when we were younger. And we talked of that one ustazah whom we can't seem to forget. Hahaha small world, eh?

It was great meeting them all. As Hasnor said, it's gooooood to expand my clan connection. Hahaha.

When time was up, I left. Thanks, Rose for waiting for me so that we could cut the cakes together. LOVE your cute colourful candles. =) I'm gonna miss you! We should meet up during weekends when I go down to KL from Lembah Beringin and you go up to KL from Nilai.

And so the final stop was home. I cut my own cake at home, with my family.

I sat in front of the cake, candles alit.

Made a few wishes, hoping they would all come true. Amin.

Blew the candles.

Cut the cake.

Pictures snapped.

And it was over.

My 18th birthday.

Just like that.

You may ask, why didn't I celebrate with my best friends?

Well, for one, they forgot about my birthday.

And we're supposed to meet up today anyways, for a little window shopping.

So I guess my birthday celebration with friends is gonna happen today.

Going out at 3.30pm later.

Will update about our date after that.

Till then!

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

I Don't Understand

2009-09-23T01:32:00.002+08:00

I stood up for you when everyone else turned their backs on you.
I stuck with you even though I knew people might shun me along with you.
My best friend and I defended you when all the others were saying mean things about you.
That was in Form 5.

Early this year, we both applied for the same scholarship.
I got an offer, and you didn't.
I am aware that you got straight A1s and I only got 8A1s and 3A2s.
I know you were angry at me about that.
I know you still are.

I feel bad too because I know you deserved the scholarship too.
But that doesn't mean I don't deserve the offer.
And then because of so many reasons, I decided to let go of the offer.
I decided to go to KYUEM instead and apply for another one while I'm there.

You didn't wanna talk to me when the scholarship results came out.
And then, a few weeks later, you finally wanted to talk.
You were honest and talked about how upset you were. I thank you for that.
But you weren't honest enough.

You told me the stories of all the great people you know who deserve scholarships but didn't get any.
And stories of the less great people who didn't get straight A1s and yet got scholarships.
You told me no offense towards me was intended.
I'm not stupid, I know I'm one of those less great people you were talking about.

After all, I didn't get straight A1s.
You didn't tell me that you talked bad about me to your family.
You probably don't know that I know you did that.

You complained that I didn't get straight A1s and yet got a scholarship, saying that it was unfair.
And when I let go of the scholarship, you got even angrier.
I know.
Don't deny it.

Can we stop all this pretending?
Can we stop pretending everything's ok when both of us know that it's not?
Can we?

Let's have a heart to heart talk.
After the air is cleared, tell me honestly if you still wanna be friends.
We're 18, for goodness' sake, we shouldn't be childish.

If you think being friends with me isn't going to make you happy, then by all means, let's not.
But I really hate breaking friendships.
Especially when it happens due to the silliest of reasons.

I hope we can still be friends.
I hope you will learn to fade away your anger.
I really do.

In all your anger towards me, I want you to recall what a good relationship we've had.
All this while, I've been listening to all your complaints about your life.
I don't think you've ever paid attention to any of my stories.
It's always been about you.

SO dear friend of mine, let's talk. If there's anything, please tell me straight. I don't want a scholarship to get in the way of our friendship. And if you still deny, or if you decide not to be my friend anymore, then maybe everyone else was right. Maybe it was a waste of my time and energy defending you. I pray that it's not true. Please, we should talk, because I don't understand. I don't understand exactly what's in your mind. I don't understand you.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

When All Hell Breaks Loose

2009-08-22T12:17:00.020+08:00

Diamond Welcoming Party on 12 August 2009 was a living hell.
NAH JUST KIDDING. Hahaha.
It was far far from that actually. It was fun-filled and very memorable. :)

Let's see.
I remember feeling a great deal of excitement while I was walking to the Orde Kosmos with my darling chaletmate, Sophie. Of course, once we reached the venue, we snapped some photos!

I LOVE Diamond's logo. The prettiest one around.

The party banner.

Sophie darling.

El Mujeres

Las Hombres

The party kicked off with the revelation. Pair by pair(of course we were paired up with our respective petsibs), we had to daringly reveal the names of our petfamily members. If we got our petfam wrong, we were to be punished. How?

Our true petfamily would scribble our faces. Hahahahaha. I think there were only 2 pairs who got their petfams wrong. Bravo, Diamond!

(There will be a break in the post here as this section has nothing to do with the party)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, me and Judo got our 3 petfamily members right. Awesome! So let me introduce you all to my happy petfamily. (Judo doesn't need another introduction)

Daeng Ahmad Saifullah Ahmad Termizi, whom we all call Daeng. ---->

(I have no picture with him. Boo.)

"Ketua Keluarga". My big petbro. Yes yes, the President of Student Council (Fellow juniors get into shock mode when they ask me who my petbro is and I say, "Daeng". Most of the replies would be, "OMG he's your petbro? He's the President of SC! Saara, you're so lucky! He looks like a good brother." And my reply would be, "Umm yeah I know he's the President. Does that make him superior? No. He's just like each and every one of us. Good brother? Hmm we'll have to see about that. Hahaha."

But that doesn't mean I don't respect him, ok. I do. He's probably the busiest person in college and yet he always has a calm expression on his face. I wish I could be stressless, since I'm a stressful person. Haha. One thing to note about him is that he is an extemely heavy eater. Which explains why his face lights up everytime I give him food. Hmmph. So far, he hasn't belanja-ed me or Judo yet. Pokai is his excuse. Pssh. Daeng, you better belanja us soon. Or else I'll call you abang which will give both you and me goosebumps. Eeeewww geliiiii. Gags.

How I discovered his identity: One night, Awang Adrian texted me, saying that he found my petbro. Shocked, I immediately called him. And he told me. End of story. Thanks, Adrian. :)

Hanisah Hanapi, whom I call Kak Nisa. ---->

The one who should rightfully be the Ketua Keluarga. My big petsis. Why should she be the Ketua and not Daeng? Because she's the eldest among us all. Her birthday's in July, mine and Daeng's are in September, Judo's and middle petsis's are in February (middle petsis isn't the eldest coz she's of the same age as me and Judo). Notice how the birthdays are so evenly distributed in this family. This is some heavy fate work going on, guys.

Hahaha but Kak Nisa doesn't want to be the Ketua Keluarga anyway, so let's just scratch that yeah. Kak Nisa is the best elder sister a girl could ask for. She's really really nice and really really caring. To date, I don't know how many nights I've spent going over to her chalet and sparing an hour or two talking to her about anything and everything. There was once I even fell asleep for a while in her room. The one thing that initially made me like her was that she's a K-Pop addict. Strangely, when we spend time talking to each other, K-Pop is rarely brought up. It's good that we have things to talk about other than just K-Pop. I'm going to teach her some Korean, as I promised her before.

How I discovered her identity: From her first letter, I suspected it was Kak Nisa already. Because she said she knew how to pronounce my name, and she was one of the few Diamond seniors who could. And also because I knew she was Korean crazy. But I was still unsure if I was right. She was the most difficult to identify. Haha but the night before revelation, I asked Kak Hamidah if Kak Nisa was my petsis by describing her clues, and she said, "Betullah tu."And on revelation day, Almaz pointed her out as my big petsis while we were at the DH. And so my suspicions were confirmed. End of story. Thanks Almaz & Kak Hamidah. :)

Noraishah Zawawi, whom we either call Aishah or Ecah.

My middle petsis. She's in one word, sempoi. Hahahaha. She's just pretty laid-back. One thing I know about her is she always wears her black kotak2 pants (which is why I call her Black Kotak2 Pants.) Hahaha. Oh and she likes to wear her shirts inside out - cute. Hahahaha.

She likes to smile, and when we meet during academic hours, she would ask me to "SENYUM!!" :) So far, she's been to my chalet a lot coz she's pretty close to my chaletmate, Erna. Grr. Hahaha JK I don't mind. There was once, she wanted to share a burger with me, but I wasn't in my chalet. So she shared it with Kak Nisa. Kak Nisa was jokingly angry coz Ecah didn't actually plan to share it with her, she just wanted to share it with me (So sweet of her). And I'm thankful to her coz she taught me how to open my room door using a card in case I lock myself out of my room. Thanks, Ecah! Hahahaha her chaletmate, Shifa is forever complaining that I'm too nice to her, but I can't help it if I'm nice to my petfam right?

How I discovered her identity: She was the easiest. It was a total coincidence. The night I got her first letter, I knew who she was already. One of her clues was that she had black kotak2 pants. And another one was that she was in Batch 11.5. So I asked Erna, my darling chaletmate, and Tae Min, my dear Johari's Window partner, if they knew any .5-ers. They only knew Ecah, so I asked Tae Min to call her and ask her if she had any black kotak2 pants. Hahahahaha turns out she did! And in her next letter, she said that we talked before, and we talked again at the RC the night before. I remember talking to her during induction week when she came over to my chalet. And the 2nd time we talked, we sat at the same table at the RC. Hahaha. End of story. Thanks Erna & Tae Min. :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Righto, so after revelation, we had a (romantic) dinner with our petfamilies. If you want a glimpse of the craziness of my petfam, here you go. Before the revelation was even over, Daeng asked us to go and queue for the food. We were 'scolded' by Sue Faye because the other families weren't done yet. *Embarrassed*

And then when it was time for us all to queue, all of us went to the back of the line except for Daeng who cut the queue (I know, the cheek of him!!). Speechless.

And so we all sat down, talked, ate. Daeng refilled his plate twice, then the 3rd time, he asked Judo to take as much food as possible, put them in a plate, and bring it back for us to share. Speechless. Kak Nisa & Ecah were much more civilised. Haha. Judo sama kepala dengan Daeng when it comes to food. Thank goodness Kak Nisa and Ecah agree with me.
Conclusion: Boys really do eat too much. *Shakes head*

After a yummy dinner(Western food!), we played a few games. First one was "Kahwin Cerai". That was fun, but I got eliminated pretty early. Second one was "Passing Parcel".

Ok, this one was extra extra embarassing. The box stopped in my hands, and I had to pick a slip of paper in it. Damn. Hahaha. My task was to 'berlakon sebagai seorang ibu yang sedang melahirkan anak ketika shopping'. THE HORROR. Fareez Iskandar asked me if I wanted to change tasks, and a small part of me was shouting for a positive reply. Ahbutthen, Sue Faye didn't let me change tasks. Evilllll. Hahha. Meany lah you Faye!

But it's ok, for the sake of my fellow Diamonders, and because I didn't wanna be a wet blanket, I went ahead with it. Ohh, so embarrassing. Sorry I couldn't put up a good act, though! A few days later, Kak Nisa showed me the video. Ahhhh, she recorded me! Sooo embarrassinggg. Hahaha. *Hides face*

After that, we were all lined up, blindfolded, led to the carpark area, and splashed with pails of water. Oh, and of course, we were asked to take off our blindfolds. Dang, I was soaking wetttttt!! My hair was drippingggg. But I have to admit, it was FUN! Hahaha. The soaking of us juniors signified the end of the party. As I looked around, I saw some of my friends still dry, and some partially wet. I was the most soaked person there! Hahaha. So, feeling content, relieved & satisfied, we all made our ways back to our chalets.

I'd like to thank all the Diamond seniors for preparing a great welcoming party for us. You should know that we all enjoyed ourselves, and we love you! :)

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Pet Family'd

2009-08-07T20:14:00.009+08:00

Apparently, there are pet families here over at KYUEM. No surprise for me coz I've known beforehand. See, KYUEM has been my aim ever since I was in Form 5. So of course I did my research. ;)

Ok, if you didn't already know, I'm in Diamond, House of Courage. So my petfamily consists of Diamonders. Go Diamond! Hahahaha.

Diamond was the last house to start the petfamily thingy. Sapphire was the earliest. So basically, we Diamonders have the least time to figure out who our family members are. Sapphireans have the most. And Garnetors and Topazians are in the middle. But it's okay. I'm sure we can do it, Diamonders!

On Monday night, I heard that the Diamond box was out. Imagine my excitement and enthusiasm! I was smiling like a crazy person when I was walking over to the Dining Hall with Hasnor. Hahaha that perasan kiasu girl. The idea of having petbros and petsisters definitely intrigued me. It's prolly coz I'm the eldest daughter and the eldest grandaughter on my mum's side. So I don't have that many older cousins. And so I'm ecstatic to have older siblings here! :)

When Hasnor and I reached DH, I saw Daeng (President Student Council, fellow Diamonder) sitting on the chair with the box in his arms. I was thinking, "How the hell am I going to dig the box with someone hugging it?" (I get intimidated very easily, you see. Especially if the person happens to be a senior). Hahaha. But I went on digging anyway. I stopped when I heard Daeng asking me for my name. I told him, and he casually said, " Belum lagi." Okayyyyy. So we left for the RC. Being the kiasu people that we are. Hahahaha. It was 8.30pm at that time (I don't wanna sound like a detective, but that's what we juniors are supposed to be for this whole thing).

RC time was unproductive, as usual, thanks to the lame Fez and bising Radhie. Seth, Adrian and Naj don't cause havoc during RC time, so they don't get the blame. Hahahhaha.

Yadayadayada (as Puan Raha always says).

Seniors and juniors alike were promptly chased out by RC staff at 9.45pm (they ring a bell indicating that we should get the hell out of the RC coz they wanna rest too). It's ok, coz cafe session followed after. Cafe sessions are always good. :)

After cafe time, we made our way to DH again. I wanted to try my luck. And Oh My Goodness imagine my excitement when I found a letter addressed to me! I actually jumped up and down. Thank God not many people were around. Hahaha. Just us.

SAARA'S PETFAMILY FILES (lame title I know but idc)

Middle Petsis

I was so thrilled even when I noticed that my petsis spelt my name wrongly. Saarah. An extra 'h'. Still thrilled. This petsis of mine was at the RC that night! She wrote the letter at 8.30pm, which she stated there. Such a coincidence. I prolly just came to the RC and she prolly was about to leave. Anyways, I spent the night replying her letter(I enjoy making stuff like that). Hahaha. She didn't give herself any nicknames, so Sophie my hyper chaletmate suggested Black Kotak2 Pants. Since one of the clues my petsis gave was that she had black kotak2 pants. Hahahaha I think it's a damned cute name.

That very night, I figured out who she was. It was all very coincidental. What started as a random question, turned out to be exactly what I was looking for. Alhamdulillah. So this sis of mine is my middle petsis.

According to Black Kotak2 Pants, there are 5 members in our family. There's the big petbro, big petsis, middle petsis (her), me and my petsibling. A petsibling is a brother/sister who hails from said person's batch. Oh, I've found my petsib alright! It's Afzym aka JUDO. I have Physics and Econs with him. Obviously we talk. We sometimes have meals together too. :)

We juniors compare our letters all the time. (Pssh like the seniors didn't do that when they were juniors a year ago.) So the next day, while waiting for Kak Ina, Judo showed me his letter. Hahahaha it was so middlesis's handwriting. I really don't mind having Judo as my bro. He's like this nice, tall Japanese looking boy. Aww I'm happy he's my petsib. Hahaha.

In her next letter, middle petsis was nice enough to give me the most obvious clue ever. I talked to her on Tuesday night when we were at the RC, and that's exactly what she wrote in her letter. Middle petsis : CHECK.

Big Petbro

What can I say about him? Hmm when I first read his letter, I mistook him for a girl. So in my reply to him, I added "Hugs and Kisses". Embarrassing much? Who does that to guys? Seriously, Saara. Wth. You retard. Unless he doesn't mind. Crosses fingers. Hahahaha.

Why did I mistake him for a girl? Because his handwriting was so damned neat. He wrote:

Sorry, big petbro.That's why I asked you to reveal your gender. Hahahaha. So I spent Tuesday night replying him. I dropped my letter off in the box before breakfast on Wednesday. After breakfast, I checked again and the letter was gone. I was excited because I thought that his reply was gonna be coming that same day.

However. No news from him that day. Or the next. By Friday, I was feeling pretty down. I thought maybe he wasn't as enthusiastic about this whole petfamily thing as I was. I checked the box one last time during lunch before making my way to my chalet. I didn't have lunch at KY coz my dad was already waiting for me. (Note: I'm back in Kuching to take off my braces for good. Staying just for the weekend.) I was about to leave my chalet when Ummu told me she saw a letter for me in the box.

I was so excited that I told my dad to put the luggage in the car and to pick me up at the main entrance in 5 minutes. I hurried to the DH and looked for the letter. Alas, there it was! I wasn't expecting much, actually. Judging from the very long wait, my expectations have sunk.

What made me smile was the way my name was written. He wrote "Sa'ara". Hahahaha there was an apostrophe added. It means that he knows how to pronounce my name. Good good. Thanks, petbro! It wasn't a long letter at all, but I guess I understand. Thursday night I told Sue Faye (who's in charge of the Diamond petfamily thingy) that I've been waiting for my petbro's reply since Wednesday morning. And she told me that he was a very busy person. Period.

So thanks petbro for sparing a little bit of your time to reply my letters. Hmm whether or not I know who he is, I can't reveal. Let's just say that I have a strong feeling I'm right. We shall see.

P/S: He identified himself as Kawan Golo. I was so confused in the beginning. Little did I know, there really was a Diamonder named Golo. I went to the trouble of trying to find out how Golo looked like, when in actual fact, it wasn't necessary at all. Haha.

Big Petsis

I received her first letter on Tuesday evening at the same time as big petbro's. After playing basketball. :) She wants to addressed as Wonderpets. Hahaha so I call her Wonderpets eonni. I replied and submitted my letter on Wednesday afternoon. And then she replied on Thursday afternoon. I dropped off my next reply at the DH during breaktime on Friday.

Before I left KYUEM, I checked the box again for her next reply. However, there was no letter from her. So I left. Hahahaha. When I reached Kuching, my dear chaletmate Erna called me and told me that big petsis replied! Excitedly, she read out the letter for me and that left me wondering yet again about her identity.

According to big petsis, she knows how to pronounce my name and she knows about my family background. And we've talked before. And she loves all things Korean too. Hmm from the very first letter in which she included clues, I suspected someone already. Not many seniors know how to pronounce my name right. My instincts tell me that she's the one. Hahahaha. But I'm gonna have to keep investigating. Hmmm.

I think I'm gonna like this sister of mine. I can see that she's caring. And her being a big DBSK fan makes it all the more interesting. I love DBSK too but not as much as Big Bang. So. =D

And let the investigation continue......

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Home Sweet Home

2009-07-29T15:37:00.003+08:00

I'm back in Kuching, people! Due to us KYUEM students being shooed away from campus. It's good to be back! :)

Let's just keep this short. I could not possibly have survived the journey back had it not been for Adrian. (Corny it may seem, but let's just ignore that yeah? )He may not realise it, or he might be perasan or whatever, but it's the truth. Had it not been for him, I might not have boarded the plane on time.

There were a few problems that I faced at LCCT just now. Like my luggage being too fat so I had to check it in instead of carrying it as hand luggage. And said fat bag had no lock so he had to figure out what to do. And we had to rush to the terminal because the gate was nearly closing and I was so slow. Seriously, if I were to fly alone, I would've been one kelam-kabut woman. Haha.

When I think back about what happened, I feel bad for Adrian. I was just so laggy. All I can do is just thank him for keeping up with me. Let's hope that on Sunday, I won't be laggy. Thanks, Adrian! You're a good friend. Hahaha.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Of Punctuality and Shisha

2009-07-28T09:56:00.003+08:00

Hasnor: We're going to OU at 7pm. Fez's picking me and Aid from KL Central.

Me: Ok.

It was decided that Najmuddin, Radhie, Adrian and Seth were going to pick me up.

7pm. No news. 8pm. No news. 9pm.

Radhie: Um we're still at home. Leaving soon.

Punctuality, guys. Asking a girl to wait for 2 hours. A big no-no. But oh wells I'm thankful you guys actually planned to pick me up, even though you didn't know the way to my apartment.

Alas, it wasn't Naj's car that greeted me last night. It was Zul's. Out of the blue, Amir and Zul called and asked me if I wanted them to pick me up. Since we were all heading towards the same destination, why not right? So sweet of them. Hahaha.

In the car, Amir was trying to scare me. I'm currently staying alone in my apartment. Nuff said. I'm glad to announce that it didn't work. Amir you coward!

The 3 of us got lost twice. It was so hard to find Al-Safa. But of course, in the end we found it. Let's see. People who were already there were: Fila, Dee, Afiq, Adrian, Radhie, Naj, Hasnor, Seth, Aid and Razin.

When we arrived, I was told that everyone shisha-ed. Even Fila (She seemed to be enjoying it). Even Hasnor (She was forced to do so).

Amir, who, like me, didn't want to shisha, but unlike me, ended up shisha-ing as well. Not much, but he tried a little. I feel bad because I said, " Be a man!" when he refused. Sorry, Amir. I know you still don't like shisha. Good boy.

Something I found funny: Adrian was saying he joined Culinary Arts club. And then the boys started talking about what they could bake. Hahaha I was the only girl there. Imagine my glee when they talked about cooking. Naj called them all gay. And then he said, " I've made apple crumble before. That's so cool." We burst into laughter. So the other guys baking other stuff is gay, but you baking apple crumble is macho eh, Naj? Hahaha I had a good laugh.

Well, I'm proud to say that at the end of the night, I was the only one who remained a shisha virgin! Bravo, Saara.

P/S : Guys, don't call Aid Susu kay? It makes me feel. -_-.

P/P/S : Thanks Amir and Zul for picking me up and sending me home (safely) last night!

P/P/P/S : I slept like a baby last night. No ghosts whatsoever. So there.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Hallelujah

2009-07-27T19:13:00.004+08:00

Woohoo!

Thanks to the whole swine flu scare, KYUEM is closed for a week. Lovely!

For the past few days, probably half of the college has contracted the flu. Everywhere you go, you hear people coughing or sneezing or looking as sick as hell. We even had 2 suspected H1N1 cases.

Yesterday, some medical officers came and carried out medical checkups on the poor students who spent the weekend at KY. Today, as my classmates and I were sitting in Econs class waiting for Puan Raha, Azreef the Atuk received a text from Tiffany, demanding us to make our way to the Great Hall immediately.

We all burst into excited chatter. Once at the Great Hall, it was confirmed that college would be closed until Sunday. Woohoo!

The best part is that I haven't even formally started classes. Last week was just ice-breaking and the teachers wanted to know us better. On the down side, I have Physics homework. It's ok, Saara. It's allright. It's nothing compared to what the seniors have in their midst. Oh ya, Chemistry test this morning was -_-. Whatever.

I'm now in my apartment in Damansara. Flying back to Kuching this Wednesday with Awang Adrian. I'm now waiting for Najmuddin, Radhie and the rest to pick me up. We're going to OU! See ya.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Lucky me

2009-07-24T19:56:00.002+08:00

I don't know what I've done to deserve such kindness. Maybe I'm just nice, so people are nice to me too? Haha ok ok I won't be perasan. But seriously seniors here have been helpful.

Classes started on Wednesday. I couldn't find my Math classroom, and I only had 5 minutes before class started. Desperate, I stopped a senior. I recognised him as Bob, a Daimonder. But of course, he didn't recognise me. Still doesn't lol. He explained the route to me and I thanked him. I was still blur. So I approached another senior. Her name's Opy(?). That's what she said. This time, I found the classroom. Saved.

And then today I had to find my housemistress, Dr. Bano's table to sign the log book. We have to sign the log book everytime we want to leave KY. I was lost and blur, again. And so I approached another senior. Aimi Nadhira. Haha again, I recognised her and she didn't recognise me. Still doesn't lol. She was so nice and brought me all the way to Dr. Bano's table. Thanks, Aimi!

And Julissa has been advising me on what books to buy and what not to buy. And there are so many more people I wanna mention (not just the seniors, but fellow juniors too), but I'm lazy. Haha yes I'm lazy. I think I've lost my edge in blogging. I've been very lazy to use the internet these past 2 weeks. Help me get inspired once again, someone!

P/S : Sophy my dear daughter, I hope you get your specs back ASAP. Damn the person who took them. And you know I don't swear but I think in this case it's necessary coz I love you.
:)

P/P/S : Amir, I hope the person who took your phone returns it to you ASAP too. Haha for now, your brother's phone it is, then! And please stop being so gago. JK. You're not gago. You're my groupmate and my Math classmate. Go Telekom! Hahahaha.

P/P/P/S : Hasnor, your voice has been all weird for 3 days now. Get better ASAP! And haha don't fall asleep in Maths class again. Hahaha I love my Naekkeo. And I know you love yours. =D

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

From The Jungle

2009-07-22T16:31:00.003+08:00

So I'm currently in KYUEM. It's really not bad. Not that bad at all. Or maybe it's a little too early for me to judge. I've only been here for a week, after all. I can't deny that I had a tough time adjusting during the first 3 days. But after 3 days, I'm already getting the hang of things. I can see the routine life KYUEMians lead. I feel like I've been here since forever.

I'm in Batch 12. Currently, there are students in Batch 11, 11.5 and 12. The total number of students in my batch is 162. I've made lots of new friends, and that's definitely a good start. I don't know if any of the seniors know of my blog, but it doesn't matter because I'm gonna say this anyway. I think the seniors are just awesome! I haven't really talked to a lot of them, but just observing them makes me feel happy. I can see how much they love each other. I can say that I have a lot of respect for them, especially the facilitators who conducted the induction programme.

After a tiring but interesting induction week, classes finally started today. We go by block system here at KY. There are 6 blocks. Each block represents a subject. And our timetable is unique as it runs on a 2-weeks basis. Basically our timetable repeats every 2 weeks. I had 4 free periods today. So free, I tell you. Didn't learn much today. Today was more of an ice-breaking session with the teachers. FYI, I'm taking Maths, Economics, Physics and Chemistry.

The internet connection here sucks, but miraculously now the connection is superbly fast. What I'm gonna do is just a quick recap of the most memorable things that happened throughout my first week here. Pictures will come later. Blame it on the sucky connection.

- 2nd night, blackout until 4.36am the following day.
- I had the worst nail bleed in my life.
- Sharing secrets with girls I've never known before. It's obvious how much trust we have towards each other.
- Samurai night.
- Diamond house meeting.
- Seeing my Naekko. :)
- Watching the guys jam.

And many more. I'm just too lazy to rethink about everything. Maybe next time, guys!

There's never been a moment when I didn't remind myself that KYUEM was my choice. I could've opted for kind-hearted JPA, but I chose KY instead. And I don't regret that decision. At all.

P/S: I wonder if I'm ever going to talk to the seniors before the Raya holidays come around. I do wanna talk to them, but the whole senior-junior thing is pulling me back. Isn't it slightly awkward to just go up to them and randomly talk to them? Oh wells, let's just go with the flow. Or so I say. =D

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

The Day Has Come

2009-07-14T01:23:00.002+08:00

Finally done packing. I swear it feels like I'm moving. So many things I'm bringing, I tell you!

3 luggage bags + around 10 plastic bags. And a laptop bag. Hahahaha I practically packed my whole house!!

Hope I get a good chalet. Hope I get chaletmates that I can click with. Hope everything goes smoothly. InsyaAllah.

I really don't know what to expect. Well, it is exciting! I'm filled with curiosity and anticipation. I'm sure all my future collegemates feel the same way. Oooh butterflies in my stomach.

Dear Saara, it's finally time. It's time for you to use that brain of yours again. Back to your nerd mode. Back to nearly sleepless nights. Back to homework and tests and exams and lots of unnecessary stress. Back to school. Escept this time, it's not high school. It's college. A whole new world. And one I'm ready to explore.

Hello, college life!

P/S: The next update will probably be next week, after orientation week is over. I won't tell everything about orientation week because I know certain traditions are meant to be kept as secrets. I wouldn't want to write openly about it and if my future juniors were to stumble upon my blog, major problems would arise. So, until a certain extent, my lips will be sealed.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Another typical Monday? I think not.

2009-07-07T00:39:00.003+08:00

This is going to be a rather short post. Well, that actually depends on each individual's definition of short. This is my definition of short, so there.

Today:

Went to Klinik Wan Ali for my medical check-up. I had to run to 2 different places; Medi Lab to do my urine test & Kuching Specialist Radiology to do my X-ray scan. That was Part 1 of the medicals. Part 2 will be continued tomorrow at the clinic. Hopefully I won't have to run anywhere else.
P/S : I didn't know we have to take our clothes off for the X-ray scan. Call me naive if you want, but I seriously had no clue. Oh boy, it felt so damned awkward.

Abang Ikhwan & his parents came over to my house (Recall the cute guy I was talking about in my previous post? ). I swear he looked 10 times more good-looking than during the wedding. Gosh, I gotta stop this. He's married, for goodness' sake! Haha. We discussed about the dangerous thing I didn't want to mention in my previous post. My lips are still sealed, people. Let's just say that today we almost reached the bottom of the case. Almost.

I had my second last Mandarin tuition. Great fun, as usual. I've gotta brush up on my pronunciation of the initals and finals.

Daddy came back from China. On the way back to Kuching, he stopped by at Changi Airport. Thanks to Daddy, a blue Sony Cybershot DSC-T90 and a white Nokia N97 is now mine. Oh, my new little babies! Mummy's gonna take extremely good care of you. Don't you worry about a thing! Thank you thank you thank you Daddy. Alhamdulillah. Lovesss.

P/P/S : I'm no spoilt brat who's determined to bankrupt my parents. Choiii. I got a camera because I didn't have my own one before. And I want to capture the moments of my college life in pictures. For remembrance, you know. Hence, I got a camera. And as for the phone, I didn't get it because it's the latest model. But because my stupid Sony Ericsson phone which I've been using since January 2007 is spoilt and these past few months I've been using Faara's old phone. Obviously, I can't keep using her phone. So I got a new phone as well. See see? I'm no spoilt brat. Everything I do, I do for a reason. All you have to do is ask why, and I'll tell you.

P/P/P/S : I told you this is a short post.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

A Wedding

2009-07-05T21:29:00.008+08:00

I slept at almost 3am today. And I had to wake up at 9.30am. Not enough sleep. But the lack of sleep was worth it. Because......................

NO I'm not getting married. Are you insane? I'm not even eighteen yet!

I attended a wedding. One of the abangs living in my lorong, which is Lorong B1, got married today. The wedding (persandingan) was held in the Dewan of the State Library. Why did I say it was worth it?

Well, because the bridesgroom was just soooo handsome. Soooo good-looking. Hahaha I grew up with the kids in Lorong B1, but I have no idea why I didn't know of his existence. His name is Ikhwan. When Abang Ikhwan and his wife made their grand entrance, Faara and I were shocked. We were like, "OMG he's so cuuuuttteeeeee!!" For real, people. He looks like Kim Joon, the guy who acted as Song Woo Bin in Boys Over Flowers. Lovesss.

We were wondering why we never realised such a good-looking guy actually lived a few houses away from us. Hahaha but of course we know he's taken. It's not like him being single will make any difference. He's a bit out of our age range. So. =D

But there's nothing wrong with admiring his good looks, no? We didn't even know he existed, so of course we were shocked. In a good way, to be sure. Well, we can't complain about anything, because his wife is a pretty lady. She's from KL. Undeniably a perfect match.

Awww they fell in love while they were studying in the same university. Sooo sweet. They met while studying in UITM Shah Alam. Awww.

Pictures:

Pelamin

Wedding cake

Raja & Ratu Sehari

Cut-the-cake time

I happen to find this photo extremely sweet. Sorry for the crappy quality. This was shown in a slideshow & it was moving too fast. Haha.

So of course, the wedding was a Lorong B1 reunion. Haha most of my neighbours were there. The neneks are just so cute. They talk so loudly. Haha and one of the neneks told Faara & I : Gerek puas2 kitak duak. Mun dah jodoh, kahwin jak bah. Translated: Enjoy dating to the max. If it's meant to be, just go ahead and get married.

Haha no comment. We just decided to humour the nenek. Biasalah, elderly people. They almost always talk about the younger generation getting married. Oh wells, I still find them oh-so adorable.

We met Aunty Noranah & her 4 children there too. Aunty Noranah is my mum's best friend. Out of her 4 children, I only know the names of the 2 eldest ones. Kak Hana & Farouq(I don't know why but it feels weird calling him abang). Kak Hana's studying medicine in IMU. Farouq's studying Chemical Engineering in Melbourne under a PETRONAS scholarship. Both are very intelligent. Kak Hana got straight As in SPM, whereas Farouq got straight A1s. Gimme your brains, you two! Hahaha.

And before we left, Aunty Noranah praised me & Faara. She told my mum that we were both very pretty. Haha a tad exaggerated, I must say. Me? Pretty? Nah. Faara? Sure she is. And then she said, "Give me one of them." And then Kak Hana said, " Why not both? One for each of my brothers." Hahahahha. I had a good laugh. If that was to happen, then I would be with...Farouq. OMG awkward much? Hahaha that was really funny. They're like family, you know. Aunty's like another mum, Kak Hana's another sister, Farouq's a brother, practically. So NO WAY.

So anyways, I just want to congratulate Abang Ikhwan & his wife. May you have a blissful life together & have many kids! InsyaAllah.

P/S : Okay I'm totally freaked out right now. After we got back from the wedding, something happened. I won't say too much because it's too dangerous. All I want to say is you shouldn't threaten a newly-wed couple. It makes people who love them worry.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

Falling For You

2009-07-05T13:01:00.004+08:00

I don't know but
I think I maybe
Falling for you
Dropping so quickly

Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting till I
Know you better

I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say

So I'm hiding
What I'm feeling
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you

I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance

All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me

I'm trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say

So I'm hiding
What I'm feeling
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you

I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you

Oh I just can't take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

I've been spending all my time
Just thinking bout ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you

I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you

I think I'm falling for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah Colbie Caillat. Is it overrated if I say that she's outdone herself? Oh well, sue me if you please, but I do think she's outdone herself. Listen to this song and you'll see what I mean. Her previous songs have been nothing short of awesomeness, but this new one is just by far her best track. Perfect lyrics and perfect melody. It just makes me all warm and fuzzy and it makes me feel just so wonderful inside, even though I'm not currently falling for anyone. Haha but I guess when I do, this song will best describe the feeling of falling for someone. Ahhh this song just made my day. This is how I feel at this very moment:

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

One Last Saturday

2009-07-04T22:53:00.002+08:00

This is how I currently feel:

Today's my last Saturday in Kuching. Before I fly off to Lembah Beringin. I'm officially leaving Kuching on July 11 on an afternoon flight.

And sadness has hit me. Hard. I feel like crying. And yet the tears aren't flowing.

I know I know I'll be back here for Raya. September 12 I'll be back here again. BUT BUT things just won't be the same. We all know that. Once you leave home and start to actually live your life independently, things will just never be the same.

No more having dinner with my family every night. No more going over to my grandparents' house everyday. No more playing with the cats that I've gotten so very attached to. No more attempting to play songs on the piano by ear & having very little success in that. No more sleeping in the room that I've been happy to call mine ever since I moved into it 5 years ago. No more sitting in front of the aquarium and staring at the fish in there for no apparent reason. No more lazing around in the TV room. No more bathing in my parents' toilet even though I have my own toilet because I feel more comfortable showering there. No more visiting my other grandma (dad's mum) in the mornings or evenings and just spending some time to talk to her. No more wondering if my naughty little neighbour, Jijah, is switching the letters in people's letterboxes for the umpteenth time. No more eating the food I grew up with here in Kuching.

No more............................................................................

How I wish I could've spent the day doing something special, since it's my last Saturday here. But sadly, here I am, at home, on the internet. My dad isn't here anyways so there are no family plans. The one thing that cheered me up today was seeing my neighbour's newborn son. The baby has such thick hair. And he made my day when he smiled. Children. Beautiful, wonderful creations of Allah Almighty. Bless you, little boy!

I should probably start packing. Can you believe I haven't even done my medical report? And I haven't quite bought everything I need for KYUEM. I'm so laggy.

Being one of the last of 5C to leave Kuching, you guys should think that I won't be as homesick as you guys were when you first left Kuching. Well, I can tell you that you guys are wrong! Having stayed back in Kuching 7 months more than you guys, I feel so much more attached to Kuching & she bu de(heavy-hearted) to leave it.

One thing I'm hoping : I don't cry like a baby on my first day at KYUEM. That'd be tres embarrassing!

Then again, emotions should not be withheld. My homesickness has actually started, and I haven't even left Kuching! (Is that even possible?) Oh Lordie, my inner psychic tells me that there's a 60% possibility that I WILL cry. Not like a baby. But 100 times worse than a baby.

No matter what, Allahualam. Allah knows best. Amin.

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

500 Makes All The Difference

2009-07-01T10:02:00.029+08:00

On Monday, I went for the Award Ceremony organised by the one & only Yayasan Sarawak. 2 weeks before, I received this letter from Lodge:

Okay so it was stated in the letter that the ceremony was to begin at 9am. That day, I left the house with my parents at 9am. So we reached there at around 9.20am. I thought we were late. Haha turns out none of the VIPs were there yet. My parents sat at the back of the Dewan Suarah, whereas I was led by one of the Yayasan people to the Lodgians area.

I was happy to find Jamie, Dexter, Radhie & Jocelyn there. Yes, only 5 out of the 42 of us were present. A sad affair, I know.

As soon as I was seated, I noticed the Kolej Abdillah students were seated 5 rows in front of us. I spotted Rose! But it took her a while to find me. Hahaha.

Oh ya, Dex is back in Kuching! Haha everyone was like, "You sure you got no swine flu?". Because he just came back from Melbourne. And I asked him if there were any cute Korean boys in Melb. Haha he replied, "Other than me, no...." PERASANness.

FYI, Dex is no Korean. But I gave him a Korean name. Lim Dong Hae. And he's also known as Princess Diana. :)

Okayy when we checked the aturcara, we were all like, "WHAT?!" Look at this:

Apparently, students were supposed to arrive at 8.15am. And we were supposed to wait until 10am when the VIP aka Uncle Jo arrives. Well, at least we arrived at around 9am and not 8am. The long wait didn't exactly spell out fun. The absolute contrary, actually.

To kill time, Dex and Radhie made fun of people's names & schools' names. Where did they get all the names from? This book:

Making fun of people's names is just plain mean. But soon enough, Jocelyn, Jamie & I joined in the fun. We were just too bored. Haha I've gotta admit, some of the names were absolutely hilarious. Who knew Sarawak has its very own Aristotles? And someone was so sweet his parents named him Sweety? Ok that's just about all I'm gonna say on the matter. Don't want to offend people intentionally.

Other than that, we took a few pictures.

Oops, forgot to switch off the flash. Sorry guys!

Saara & Jamie

Saara, Jamie, Dex, Radhie, Jocelyn

VIPs on the stage

People

More people

Finally, at 10.15am, Uncle Jo arrived. Oops I mean YB Datuk Amar Abg. Haji Abdul Rahman Zohari. I'm just used to calling him uncle because he's my dad's long-time friend.

We stood up & clapped for him. Twice. And then we sang Negaraku. Dex, being an Aussie now, was being so patriotic. As he sang, his hand was at his heart. Hahaha.

Then there was the reading of the doa. And then speeches by Mr. Adenan Satem & Uncle Jo respectively. And then distribution of the prizes for PMR excellent achievers. And then the SPM excellent achievers were told to line up according to their schools.

When it was Lodge's turn, I was first in line (the horror).

Shaking hands. Haha Uncle Jo was like, "Tok anak Ibrahim Baki tok eh!" Translated, "Eh this is Ibrahim Baki's daughter!" He was so happy.

Lost people. I didn't know what to do next. Neither did Jocelyn. So...:)

Next: Group photos.

Jocelyn wasn't looking here. Dex was being vain.

I was trying to tiptoe coz Aunty Norain (Rad's mum) told me to. I was wearing heels so high and yet I was still too short for the camera. Haha and Radhie was telling Dex that the 2 of them should be in the next Tranformers, and told me I could be Megan Fox. Not in a million years, guys! Me, Megan Fox? You kidding me? I can never pull it off. Hahahha. Psshh I know you guys were teasing me!

With Mr. Ling. The woman taking our photo kept shouting, "Mr. Ling, SMILE!" Mr. Ling's so cute.

Here's a few pictures of what I received:

Certificate + RM500. :)

The cert alone

Show me the money, baby!

Oh I forgot to mention, I officially met Awang Adrian that day. As in, we actually talked. Well, not really. He spotted me & went over & said Hi. I was surprised, seriously. And I didn't know what to say! Haha of all the things I asked him where Rose was. Haha I'm a retard. And then he had to ask me on FB why I was so malu2. I wasn't malu2, Adrian. I just didn't know what to say. What did you expect me to say, after all? It's not like you asked me anything either. Psshhh. Kelak kat KYUEM, we've got more than enough time to talk kay.

So after the ceremony was over, my parents left. I stayed back for a while. I talked to Rose for a while and gave her this:

A lovely red tasbih from Makkah. Along with a little note:

I told her I might not be able to send her off that day. Because she was leaving Kuching for KL at 4pm. She said it was ok, we can hang out in KL. InsyaAllah.

After that, I left with Radhie & Dex. We went over to Lodge International to pick Belle up for lunch.

I realised I only had RM5. Rad was also kinda short of cash. Immediately, the boys were like, "Belle, you chia us!" As in, not ask her nicely, but forced her. Hahha they always kacau Belle. Well, Belle agreed to chia us all anyways. Bless her. We went to KFC at Tabuan Jaya.

Our budget: RM20. We ordered 5 pieces ori chicken, 1 cheesy wedges & 1 regular ice pepsi (not the big bottle but the normal cup). Total: RM21.10. Over budget! Hahaha but we managed to pay.

We had a very kesian lunch. The 4 of us shared one drink. We each had one chicken, then Radhie, Dex & Belle shared the last chicken. And we shared the cheesy wedges. As kesian as we were, I was actually full at the end of it.

The drink. Yes we put tons of straws in it. And you see the toothpick on the table? We wanted to put that in Belle's hair, but we decided not to. Haha.

We then sent Belle back to school & Dex drove us to Lodge National. There, we talked to Cikgu Connie Lau (Form 3 Maths teacher) and Mrs. Lim (school secretary). Mrs. Lim gave Radhie his oscar. Me & Dex were like, "Where's ours?". Mrs. Lim apologised & said only those who got 9A1s and 10As and 11A1s (excluding English GCE) will receive the oscar. Eesh Dex got 8A1s & I got 7A1s. Geramm. We told Radhie to pass us his, and we would send it to a shop & ask them to make the exact same one for each of us, with our names on each of course. Hahaha. He refused.

That done, we made our way to the staffroom. Talked to Ms. Vivien Ng (Form 3 English teacher), Cikgu Susanna (Form 4&5 Sejarah teacher), Cikgu Willie Liew (Form 4&5 BM teacher who never taught our class but gave us tuition), Cikgu Tan Ah Siang (Form4&5 class teacher and BM teacher) and Cikgu Kenny Leong (Form5 Phyics teacher).

Outside the staffroom, we found Mr Linus (Form4&5 Maths teacher) & Mrs. Ngu (Form4&5 Add Maths teacher). We went over to 5C to find Cikgu Anita (Form4&5 Bio teacher). Then, to 5B to find Ms. Felicia Siaw (Form4&5 Chem teacher).

After all that, it was almost 2pm. Rad & Dex told me they wanted to have a puff (rokok). I wasn't happy about that, obviously, but 2 against 1, I lost. I followed them to the park outside school.

After they were done, they said they wanted to talk to Cikgu Danny(Form3 BM teacher).

Cikgu Danny is the best BM teacher in the world. And he's got a great sense of style. And yet he's still single.

We had to wait till 2.20pm when there was going to be a break, so we waited backstage in the hall. There, we talked again. Haha boys have such weird topics to talk about. I won't mention them here. Censored JK.

The bell rang, and we headed to the staffroom to see Cikgu Danny. Sure enough, he was there. So we started talking to him. Talked rubbish, mostly. Haha. Before we knew it, itwas already almost 4pm. Can you imagine that?

Let's see. We discussed the love triangles, or as Cikgu Danny stated, love hexagons of Lodge students, including both current & ex-Lodgians. We had a good laugh. And then they started talking about relationships. I was the only girl there, and I heard them compare girls to so many things:

books, pelabuhan, rempah, food etc.

Such creative minds, no? If Zoe was there, Zoe would have debated with them about the whole thing. Me? I'm used to hearing these sorts of things, so I didn't bother too much.

And the boys called themselves saudagar, ships etc. They were trying to relate to Sejarah. Hahah gila.

And so we left the staffroom at 4pm. Rad's car was in school so Dex didn't have to send him back. Dex sent me to my nenek's house at Tabuan Jaya. He said, "Oh ya, I think I know where it is. It's on the way to Thompson's Corner right?" Thinking he got it right, I said sure. Haha and then he turned into the lorong where my nenek's house is. And zoomed straight pass the house. I was screaming, "Dex, you passed it!It's that house!" He reversed and stopped in front of the right house. He dropped me off. Thanks Dex!

Because I left school at 4pm, I couldn't send Rose off at the airport. Sorry Rose! Promise to make up for that in KL later.

At the end of the day, I felt a great sense of satisfaction. I got to meet friends who I haven't seen in a while. I got to meet the teachers that I've been missing all this while. AND I got RM500 richer. SCORE! =D

*Fast forward*

On Tuesday, my nenek told me to read Utusan Borneo & Utusan Sarawak. In both, there were pictures of all of us during the Award Ceremony. Here they are:

Utusan Borneo

Utusan Sarawak

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

A Bloody Affair

2009-06-30T22:36:00.007+08:00

Doesn't sound too good, does it?

Well, actually, something so very beautiful happened yesterday.

Dear dear Barbie (Romeo's first wife) shed blood & gave birth to 3 very healthy kittens! Awwwwwwwwwwwww..............:)

So beautiful. All I can say is Allahuakbar. Praise be to Allah.

I didn't witness the process though. It happened when time neared midnight. I was playing the piano (for fun) at the time. I was so engrossed in what I was doing, and then, all of the sudden, I heard my mum scream my name from upstairs.

My fingers halted abruptly on the piano keys. I immediately left the piano, sprinted up the stairs & made my way to the closet in the ironing room. I found my mum grinning.

I was like, "Ma, what's wrong? What happened?" With obvious excitement, she replied, "Barbie dah beranak." First thing that came to my mind was, "Seriously?" WOW. OMG. WOW. And then I was all smiles.

I peeped into the cupboard & saw a tiny white kitten in Barbie's arms. I was amazed. There Barbie was, covered in blood, and yet all she could think of was her little baby. She didn't care if she was in pain, she just wanted to protect the baby. Her protectiveness was so obvious. She kept on licking the baby (cleaning it) and looked so at peace with the baby drinking her milk.

And then my mum and I left the room. Half an hour later, we came back to check again. Sure enough, another kitten popped out. This time, the kitten was pure black in colour. Adorable sangat2 kan? Haha.

My mum and I kept patting Barbie, telling her that she did a great job giving birth to the kittens. Just imagine, she was inexperienced, and yet she had to give birth all by herself. Way to go, Barbie!

So we thought that was it. We thought there were only 2 kittens. Little did we know................................................................................................................................................................

This morning, I woke up at 10-ish (I know so late I hate myself for that). I asked my mum if there were anymore kittens. She told me no. I went to check anyways.

To my surprise ( a pleasant one, to be sure), there was another kitten. Bless you, Barbie! This kitten was grey, the exact colour of Romeo. Aww mui mui cute. I ran to my mum's room, thinking my mum just wanted to surprise me. Hahahahaha it turns out she had no clue. She thought there were only 2 kittens.

Barbie looked so comfortable with her 3 kittens. I could tell she loved them very very much. I am proud to say that I am SO proud of Barbie. Bless her.

The whole day I've been checking from time to time if anymore kittens were going to appear. Sadly, no, there wasn't anymore. Well, 3 kittens is good enough. Alhamdulillah.

One Barbie Junior (the white one), one Romeo Junior (the grey one) and one Barbie-Romeo Mixture (the black one). As for now, no names have been decided. I'm open for suggestions. Anyone? :)

This whole process was just such a coincidence. That fateful night, a few hours before Barbie gave birth, Dr. Audrey from Primavet Animal Clinic at Rubber Road came over to examine her. I didn't meet the doctor, but my mum said she's extremely nice. Her love for animals and her profession was extremely obvious. My mum said she was by far the nicest veterinarian she has gotten the privilege to know. Ooh and my mum said Dr Audrey has 3 very fat cats at her clinic. They are apparently much fatter than our cats at home. Next time my mum pays a visit to the clinic, I want in! Maybe I should persuade Dr. Audrey to give me one. But she probably won't succumb to that. So. Oh wells.

Ehhh back to the part about this being a coincidence (I do this all the time). Dr. Audrey was telling my mum that the babies will be out before the week is over. Of course, we didn't expect it to be THIS soon. But all's well. Haha no worries.

So while Barbie was busy spending time with her little babies, Romeo was doing what? Well, let me show you a few pictures.

He was sleeping. On my parents' bed. Yes, he climbed onto the bed by himself.

He was being malas and all but he's still ever so cute. No?

Stretch, Romeo, stretch.

I'm happy, kakak, happy, says Romeo The Daddy.

Earlier on, I mentioned that Barbie was his first wife. Well, his second wife is called Dekna. Dekna here is one hell of a garang lady. She has this don't-you-dare-mess-with-me look on her face. 24/7. She's just a very angry cat. And for that reason, Romeo can't ahem with her. So Dekna is technically his wife, but all he does with her is just play. As in run around, jump, chase each other etc.

Romeo is considered as my brother (yes, we do that). So that means that Barbie and Dekna are my sisters-in-law. And OMG technically I'm an aunt now. I have 3 nieces/nephews. Congrats Saara! Haha here's to aunthood (I know there's no such thing okay but I like it so there).

And SO I just want to congratulate Romeo & Barbie on their newborns. Here's to parenthood! :)

With love & hugs & what-not,
Saara

My 24th Post

2009-06-27T00:45:00.006+08:00

I'm excited about this!

WHY? Because I LOVE the number 24 that's why. 24 is my birthdate. And for that reason & many more bizarre reasons, I adore the number. 24 is just gorgeous.

HAPPY 24TH POST!

Since it's my 24th post, I wanted to do something special. But I can't think of anything special.

So I'll just post a few pictures of one of my favourite cats, Romeo. (Don't pinch my cheeks) Romeo here has finally done his job & hit the jackpot. After being married to Romeo for almost 2 years, Barbie is finally pregnant. Alhamdulillah! Haha I hope she gives birth before I leave Kuching. Romeo Juniors & Barbie Juniors. Aww talk about adorable.

Romeo says hi everyone:

Yes that's the way he sleeps.

That's him just being plain lazy.

He's posing because he knew I was taking a picture of him.

I JUST LOVE THE NUMBER 24. Don't you?

With love & hugs & what not,
Saara

Wait, no, it's off

2009-06-26T21:45:00.004+08:00

Futsal is off!

Yeah that's right people. That's why I'm here blogging. Izzat told me just now. Adrian cancelled it. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Haha.

But all's well. I'm not being a baby sulking in the corner. Because even if the game was still on, I wouldn't have been able to watch it anyways. Because Andy wanted to give me Mandarin lessons. Yes. I spent my Friday night learning Mandarin. And I learnt quite a handful today. So I'm happy. :)

And Ira wouldn't have been able to watch the game either because she's watching Transformers 2 with her family now. Which reminds me, I haven't watched that yet! I haven't even watched the first Transformers. Hahha no don't laugh at me. I can laugh at myself but not you jk.

Same goes for Rose. Her sister's in labour & she's spending the night babysitting her dear nephew. Haha hope you're having fun Rosey!

SO no worries about the cancellation, boys. I do feel a teeny weeny bit disappointed because I've never seen people play futsal live before (sakai). Well, hopefully there will come a time when I get to see people play futsal. InsyaAllah.

P/S: Good luck for your driving course & table test tomorrow Zatzi! Ooh 5 hours in the room listening to the officer talking about safety while driving & bla bla bla. Kesian.

P/P/S: Good luck for your registration at UITM Kota Samarahan to both Ira & my dear twin cousin, Hafiz! Congrats to both for getting a place there & hope you like the dorms & the environment there. Tell me all about it later!

With love & hugs & what not,
Saara

The Game Is On!

2009-06-25T15:38:00.004+08:00

Went over to Radhie's mum's clinic just now.

Dr. Radhie was on duty. Hahahaha! He looked soooo different in that dark green dentist coat he had on him. Looked like a real dentist. But he isn't a dentist. At least not yet. Will be in a few more years. Hahaha I wanted to take his picture. Awwww he didn't want to be photographed. Hahaha hmmph I should've just stolen a quick shot when he wasn't looking. At least there would've been a photo for this post.

Yeah that's right this is gonna be yet another photo-less post. Bear with me, people. Either the next post or the following one will be about Umrah. Jam-packed with photos. You shall not be disappointed!

So Radhie was helping his mum examine my teeth. Hahaha it actually felt kinda weird having a friend peep at your teeth. But he didn't stare at my teeth the whole time, so the weird feeling kinda lessened throughout the procedure. On the contrary, he barely looked at my teeth. He did the behind-the-scenes things like cutting the power chains & stuff like that.

OH YA ALMOST FORGOT (how can I?) the game between Radhie & Adrian is on.

Radhie's team will consist of him, Rusydie, Izzat, Brian Eddy & few more people whose names I can't seem to remember. Sorry.

Adrian's team will consist of him & well, his people who I don't know at all. Again, sorry.

Friday night. 8pm. Sports Planet Pending.

Rose, I know you told me you can't make it to the game. It's ok it's ok we'll try to meet up before you leave this Monday! I have something to give you (from Makkah). :)

I guess I'm watching the game with Ira. Okay, she has to drive because I don't know where Sportsplanet is.

Will update on the game after it's over. For now, I'm celebrating because Radhie's mum says my braces will be off before I leave for KYUEM. Yes! Alhamdulillah. Can't wait to be braceless.

With love & hugs & what not,
Saara

I said Sha La La La La

2009-06-25T00:39:00.008+08:00

I started Mandarin class yesterday night. (Tuesday)

Gasps.

Finally.

I've been wanting to learn Mandarin since forever. You might ask me, "Saara, for what you learn Mandarin? No need la haiya. " And I would say, "Of course need la. I want ma. Cannot meh?" And you would reply, " Why you want to learn le? Wasting time nia." Sigh. Okay, I shall list down the reasons.

1. I have Chinese blood. Isn't it slightly embarassing to have Chinese blood and not have the ability to speak or understand Mandarin? Yes, it is. Very. I have Chinese relatives & though they can speak English and Malay, life would just be loads easier if I can speak Mandarin.

3/8 Chinese blood is quite a lot, mind you. The fraction is as such because the blood is contributed from both sides of my family. My mum's grandma is 100% Chinese who masuk Islam when she married my mum's grandpa. So 1/8 of my Chinese blood contributed from there. My dad's mum is 100% Chinese. She immediately became a Muslim when she was adopted by a Malay man. So 1/4 of my Chinese blood contributed from there. Total: 3/8.

Get it? Or did I just give you a migrain? Haha.

2. I'm always the victim. Of whom, you may ask. Well, of strangers who lose their way. Still not getting it? Okay, I'll explain. When I'm at the Sunday Market, airport, supermarket, coffee shop, shopping mall (you name it), strangers always always always come up to me. They stare at my face (Leaving me feeling all suspicious). Then they start asking me something in Mandarin. And I always always always end up telling them I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

It's at times like these that my Chinese face makes me feel frustrated. Frustrated because they think I'm Chinese. Frustrated because I can't understand what they're saying. Frustrated because I can't help them. I'm proud of my Chinese blood & Chinese features, I really am. So to put my blood to justice, I must learn Mandarin.

3. (This is going to be a long point)

Pressure. From a guy named Ammar. I met Ammar at Petronas Educamp. He was in my group during the interview session. There were 4 of us in the group. Ammar, me, Liu Jun Wei & Lee See Leh. When I 1st saw the list of my future teammates, I thought, "Ok there's another Malay. That will make things easier." Because judging from the other two's names, I could tell they spoke more Mandarin than English. (I was right)

Alas, Ammar was from Bintulu, as was Lee See Leh(this person is a girl). Ok there's nothing wrong with a person coming from Bintulu. But apparently Ammar is from Semenanjung & moved to Bintulu due to his dad's job. And in Bintulu, he studied in a PRIVATE CHINESE SCHOOL. Everything he studied was in Mandarin. All those ridiculously complicated terms in Biology, physics & chemistry: He knows all of them. In Mandarin.

Oops I forgot to mention Liu Jun Wei. He was from Kuching High. And he went to the JPA interview on the same day as me. Talk about coincidence. Back to the story, Ammar was very interested when I told him I had Chinese blood. So much so that he started speaking in Mandarin to me. I sighed. Literally. I told him I couldn't really speak, but I can understand basic Mandarin. He immediately lost interest. And you know what he told me? The nerve. He said, "I only make friends with people who can speak Chinese. Because I want to improve my Chinese skills."

Speechless. WTH man. Fine, who wants to be friends with you anyway. Sheesh.

And the worst part was that the other 3 kept speaking in Mandarin. The whole time we were together. Seriously. We were given 30 mins to prepare our case study for the interview. Then 10 mins in the waiting room. The whole time they spoke in Mandarin. Geramnya hati. I think I told them I couldn't speak in Mandarin close to 10 times. But they kept on. No wonder I was so quiet throughout the discussion. Hello? I didn't know WTH you guys were talking about. So what was I supposed to say? All I could do was nod. Smile. Laugh. Nod. Smile. Laugh. Sigh.

But as mad and frustrated and annoyed I was at him, Ammar did teach me something. He made me realise that learning Mandarin is very very important. Thanks & no thanks Ammar! I'm still contemplating whether I like or hate you. Maybe a bit of both.

SO THOSE WERE MY 3 VERY LONG REASONS. :)

My teacher's name is ANDY. He refuses to be called Teacher. Even when I call him Mr Andy, he scolds me. Hahaha he's 30 years old. Isn't it weird to call him by his first name? Oh well, I'll just humour him then.

He's pretty good at teaching. He was recommended to me by my physics-chemistry-maths-science-add maths-extraordinare-private-tutor: Mr Lee. It turns out that they've known each other since they were 7 years old. Wow 23 years of friendship. Cheers, guys!

Andy is working as an accountant. But he does part-time studying. He aims for a membership in MIA (not MIA the singing group la. Malaysian Institute of Accountants). And he does part-time MCing weddings & birthday parties (In Mandarin). And for the next 2 weeks, his new part-time job will be to teach me! I hope I don't give him a hard time. My tongue is just not accustomed to Chinese initials & finals. Man, he works hard! Bet his schedule got even more packed with the sudden appearance of a student who goes by the name of Saara. Thank you, Andy.

So at the end of our first lesson, he gave me a Chinese name. I laughed like a hyena when I heard the name he gave me. Everyone, I have an announcement to make! I present to you my Chinese name: SHA LA!

Hahahahahahahhahaha. LOL. ROTFL. LOL.

The first thing that came to my mind was the song 'Sha La La' . You know, the one with the lyrics, "My heart goes Sha-la-la-la-la, Sha-la-la in the morning....." OMG. Haha.

(I sincerely apologise to all Chinese girls who happen to be named Sha La and happen to stumble upon my blog. No offense was intended.)

It's just that. Me being called Sha La is just so hilarious.

So Andy obviously taught me how to write my name. In the correct order. Pictures:

Attempt No. 1

Attempt No. 2

Attempt No. 3

Attempt No. 4

Yes, my handwriting got uglier and uglier with each attempt. Haha I'm just a beginner, for goodness' sake! Andy says my handwriting is nicer than his. So there.

With love & hugs & whatnot,
Saara

Lodge School + Kolej Abdillah = KYUEM

2009-06-22T20:14:00.006+08:00

Helloooo.

I'm in an exceptionally good mood today. Why? Well, because I found 2 more future college buddies. So that makes 4 Kuching people. So far. Radhie and me, representing Lodge. Haha. And my 2 new friends, Awang Adrian & Hasnor Farhana. Kolej Abdillah represent.

Okay so Lodge people know who Radhie is so I'm not gonna bother talking about him. (Don't be kecil hati ya Radhie. You know I love u). =D

Hasnor is a girl who I won't have any problems clicking with. Alhamdulillah! Haha. She's a Korean obsessionist. I fear that her obsession might be more severe than mine. Hahaha. But the girl's got an uncanning resemblance with Jessica from Girls Generation. (People who are not into Korean stuff won't know what I'm talking about) And I know she's feeling on top of the world right now because I said that.

Haha but having a Korean-crazed friend in KYUEM was the last thing I expected. So finding out about Hasnor was a pleasant surprise, to be sure. Haha imagine our obsessed way of talking. Haha at least we'll never have nothing to say to each other. Other people, please do not ternganga in shock as you observe us. Watch out for the flies entering & leaving your mouths, people. =D Hasnor, we're gonna get along just fine! Looking forward to meeting her on July14. Ok I won't be meeting her till then because she's all the way in Kedah right now. So. :)

Awang Adrian seems like a funny guy. I think his name is unique. Because Adrian is a Christian name & yet he's called Adrian. I've been contemplating on whether or not I should call him Adrian because all of his friends call him Awang. But he told me to call him Adrian, so problem solved! Haha I don't know how many times I've bumped into him. The first time we met was earlier this year. I'm not going to reveal where we first met because he doesn't remember when it happened & he might very well stumble upon my blog & voila! If I write about it, he will find out and the fun goes straight down the toilet bowl. (Actually it turns out I did reveal our first meeting in one of my earlier posts. As to which post I'm referring to, that will be left for you to guess. If you're so free, check my posts one by one then. But I doubt anyone would. Haha.)

He thinks we first met during Petronas Educamp. WRONG! I'll tell him on registration day, so no worries. He actually blackmailed me about a little something something today which I don't want to mention. Eesh this boy. And we haven't even met. Eh wait, did I mention I saw him at Hopoh on Sunday? At the time I wasn't sure if it was him. And he didn't see me. But it turns out it was him. Haha he was there to pick up his sunnies. Glam boy in the house. JK I know you bought sunnies because your eyes hurt when you drive, Adrian.

Radhie also has a very unique connection with these two.

Turns out that Hasnor was stalking him when she was still in Kuching (according to Radhie). Turns out that Radhie was stalking her when she was still in Kuching (according to Hasnor). I don't know who's right, I'm no High Court judge. But hey, I know they're just joking around. All this about stalking? Haha it's just that they kept meeting each other by coincidence, like me & Adrian. This is some heavy fate work here, don't you think? I think up till now, they're still calling each other STALKER. Hahha.

Radhie & Adrian are connected by futsal. Haha it turns out that Lodge has played a game against Kolej Abdillah before. Guess who lost? If you guessed Lodge, Bingo! Spot-on. I think Kolej Abdillah killed Lodge during the match. Haha so Radhie was playing in the Lodge team & Adrian in the Kolej team. Bada-bing bada-boom that's how they got to know each other. I think Adrian & Radhie are planning a match this Friday. If the match is on, I'm definitely going to watch! Ahaha I wanna see who's better at futsal.

SO there you have it. 2 new people in my life who I'm going to be around pretty often for the next 2 years.

I happen to think the whole 2-Lodge-students-and-2-Kolej-Abdillah-students-going-to-the-same-college-that-is-the-secluded-jungle thing is friggin cool. No? Think about it. If not for college, we would've never known each other. Ever. Again, heavy fate work going on here. :)

You do understand the equation below right?

Lodge School + Kolej Abdillah = KYUEM.

It's so simple. But on the off-chance that you don't get it (I won't call you dense I promise), just ask me.

Happy happy happy!

With love & hugs & what not,
Saara

Welcome back, Janice

2009-06-14T22:27:00.005+08:00

She texted me yesterday, saying she's back in Kuching. Lol I was SO happy! But for a short while only. She's going back to Singapore tomorrow. Yeh. Just a weekend trip home.

We took this chance to watch Night At The Museum 2. I didn't watch the 1st one, so I really liked this 2nd one. Omg the villan was hilarious! Kamunrah, if I'm not mistaken. Haha he was supposed to be this evil jealous brother who wanted to rule the world. I actually found him absolutely adorable!

All in all, the movie was satisfactory. I laughed countless times throughout, and that's always a good sign.

Janice told me the movie was at 4pm. Haha. At 3.10pm, we stood at the counter and asked for 2 tickets to watch Night At The Museum 2. The girl at the counter said we better hurry coz the movie starts at 3.15pm. Lol. So we had to postpone lunch till after the movie. Lucky I reached her house and parked my car there by 2.40pm. Lucky she drove us to Star Cineplex and parked her car there by 3.05pm. Lucky.

If not, our movie plan would have had been cancelled. And I would have missed a great movie. It's okay, Jan. Wasn't your fault. Blame the website for the confusion. Haha no worries.:)

So after the movie, we bought one terriyaki chicken bread roll & one banana smoothie each from DeliCafe around the corner. We ate them when we were back at Jan's house. Yummy! The bread was so huge the chicken pieces & salad & tomatoes kept falling out. Haha but yummy nevertheless.

Stomachs filled, we listened to songs on her laptop. And talked, of course. She says, everyone I know who has been in a relationship says, don't get into a relationship. Cherish singlehood. That's what they say. I hear that all the time, and yet, I fail to understand every single time. How would I understand, after all? I've never had a boyfriend before.

But. I hope. When I do. I don't feel the same way everyone does. InsyaAllah.

Anyways, Jan's house is a little empty coz she just moved in. But I love her house. It's huge! Haha she had to clean her cupboard. While I was using her laptop, she was busy sorting out stuff in her cupboard. Poor Jan! Hard work, that. Good luck with that, hun.

I left her house at 6.40pm. Mummy wanted me home. Aunty asked me to stay for dinner but I had to get going, so I politely refused.

Jan, I had so much fun! It was great to spend time with youuu. You don't come back often, so meeting up today was awesome.

Janice says the next time she's coming back is DECEMBER! Soooo long from now. I don't even know if I'll be here at that time coz end of the years are always family holiday trip times. Hopefully, I'll get to meet up with her again at the end of the year, though.

By the way, good luck for your exams, Jan! Coming up in 2 weeks, right? Study study. I pray that you'll get into NUS for your law degree. :)

So, welcome back, and, farewell, Janice Pui!

With love,
Saara

Back From The Best Trip Ever

2009-06-14T22:00:00.002+08:00

I wonder how many people really read this pathetic blog of mine, yeah? Seriously. I bet this blog has zero readers. Haha I find that hilarious. Coz that just means everything I type here is just for my own reading. Just as well. That makes it more of a diary, innit? (Okay, Saara, stop talking to yourself. Freak.)

On the off chance that any of you are genuinely interested in where I've just come back from, well, do let me enlighten you.

In short, I've just returned from a visit to the Holy Lands in Islam. Makkah and Madinah. During the entire trip, I performed the Umrah TWICE. Did Tawaf Sunat TWICE. Kissed the Hajar Aswad ONCE. And those achievements were NOT easy. It was a battle. A war. A struggle. And to be able to achieve what I've achieved was a miracle in itself.

You can say that the trip has really changed my outlook on life. It has changed me in so many different ways. It even made me realise what I truly want to do in life. Dear Muslims, if you haven't been to Makkah n Madinah, do go. Trust me, the visit will make you a better person.

I shall dive into a much more detailed post of the trip soon, because I need time to recall everyting that happened. A LOT happened. Haha it was an awesome experience.

If you wanna see me in tudung(LOL!) then stick around. Coz the post will be full of pictures. Do NOT laugh at me.

With love,
Saara

Awesomeness much?

2009-05-17T00:29:00.003+08:00

I watched Akademi Fantasia 7. Haha. There, I said it. Laugh all you want. So there were contestants I liked. And some I didn't.

HAFIZ. ARIL. AKIM. AISHAH. I like.

ISMA. CLAUDIA. I don't like.(No offense)

And the rest: So-so. Not crazy about them, but not against them in any way either.

The final concert just ended. Alhamdulillah HAFIZ won!

Beautiful voice. Crazy afro hair. Cute chubby cheeks. Humble as ever. He deserves it. :)

And during the concert, Isma's brother, Millionare TOMOK popped up once in a while. FYI, he won One In A Million, that's why he's a millionare. One word for him : H-O-T.

Seriously. I couldn't stop looking at him. Bloody handsome. *Melts*. Girls, if you don't know how he looks like, don't look for his pictures in the internet. Coz he doesn't look good in pictures. He looks better in person, I guess.

Don't like Isma, but I sure do like her bro. Ah, looks that are too good to be true. But. Let's just leave it at that, yeah. Just happen to think he's hot. Nothing more. A hot guy among many others out there. Haha.

Wow how did this post get to Tomok? It was supposed to be about Hafiz! So CONGRATULATIONS Hafiz. The sweet boy from Kuching who has made Sarawakians proud. Continue being UNBEATABLE.

P/S: Adam Lambert or Kris Allen? Love both of them. We'll see how things go.

With love,
Saara

Job Well Done

2009-05-14T14:33:00.003+08:00

*Eyes the freakishly yummy-looking marble cheese cake from Seattle Coffee longingly.*

DO NOT SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION.

*Grabs 2 low-salt multigrain Jacob's crackers.*

*Pets self on the back for a job well done.*

With love,
Saara

Project Lose Weight

2009-05-13T14:04:00.003+08:00

Haha sorry for the lack of imagination. I figured Project Lose Weight conveys the purpose of the project clearly enough. Don't you?

Yes I'm on a mission to lose weight. Do I think I can do it? Well, I can at least try.

Thing is, can I do it in 2 months?

InsyaAllah.

Wish me luck, people. I need all the support I can get.

People who are still in Kuching (Vien,Radhie & everyone else), at least you know that I'm not hanging out with you guys for the time being coz I gotta stay home & exercise in my mini gym. Not because I'm hao lien, yeah.

I MUST lose weight.

With love,
Saara

I Promise

2009-05-13T13:49:00.004+08:00

Basically my blog has been on the verge of death for the past few months. Only now then I make an effort to bring it back to life.

I know most people have even stopped reading my blog due to the lack of updates. Sorry guys.

I PROMISE to update as often as I can. Problem is: My life now is just so unexciting. I haven't even started college yet! I'm having a holiday now. A very long one. A 7-month holiday. Friends who are already in college, I'm guessing you guys would do anything to have a holiday THAT long. But lemme tell you. It can be very boring.

Nothing much to do = Nothing much to tell people = Nothing to blog about.

But I'll try to update more yeah. In case you guys are ever curious about what I'm up to, do visit this blog. Saara has not disappeared, guys! She's still here. And for those of you who never really got to know what kind of a person I am, this blog will give you the answer.

Warning: Interesting news will only start coming when I start college. That's on July14. After Rainfest.

Cheers.

With love,
Saara

April Babies

2009-05-10T00:59:00.017+08:00

Aww so cute!

To my awesome friends who were born in the month of April 18 years ago, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.

>Keith Wong.
>Elvina.

>Sandra.

>Belle.

>Stanislaus.

>Nadira.

>Izzat.

>Joel.

Sorry for the very very late wishes. I feel so disconnected from all of you. I wanna call you but I'm scared I call at a wrong time, since most of you are in college already. You guys are busy busy. I understand. Don't think I'm hao lien and don't remember your birthdays, yeah. I do.

You guys are special in your own way, and I love all of you.:)

Keith, you can ask me for anything but my cat. Maybe I'll post you a pretty & long letter?Haha. Give me your address over there. Sorry I wasn't smiling in the picture. You were asking for my cat, of course I didn't wanna smile.

Elvina, you forever will be Fatanah. Remember we used to talk about Singapore dramas?Haha. Kinship.Btw, watch Dream-catchers. It revolves around 4 engineers. Not bad la.

Sandra, you are the wittiest girl I've ever known. I know you always say my Korean guys are ugly, but I say they're hot. Stay hot, Dra. Just look at that 2nd picture. Lol.

Belle, you laugh like crazy. Kidding. But you do tend to laugh very the loudly. Haha. Glad you liked the baju kurung the other day. Remember the 2nd picture?Joyce's party in 2007.

Stan, I'm not that close with you, but I do know you like ice-cream. Have lots of them till you get sick of all that ice-cream. Kidding. I know you'll never get sick of ice-cream.

Zatzi, Seung Ri is buff. Period. Doesn't matter if you agree or not. Lol. Thanks for the Jonas Brothers CD. And thanks for the necklace you bought for me back in 2007. It's pretty.

Joel, you were always geram with me from Primary 4 till Primary 6. Because I always got 1st in class & you always got 2nd. Haha. But that's in the past, right? Thanks for being a good debate teammate & a good friend. (Will post up a pic later. Need to find one.)

Lastly, Ira. Thanks for being my best friend ever since we were 2. We've been through a lot together. 16 years of friendship and counting. No matter what happens, we'll always be friends. Though there were incidents that tested our friendship, we stayed friends, and for that, I'm glad. Never give up and believe in yourself. You can do wonders once you have faith in yourself.

So, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY x 8.

Love you people.

Miss you people.

With love,
Saara

Disappointment, tears, relief & smiles

2009-05-09T19:06:00.008+08:00

You must be wondering. What the heck do I mean by those four words?

Lemme tell you.

I don't know if all of you are aware, but 8 May was D-day. For me and for many more people out there. Both JPA & PETRONAS released the results of their scholarship & sponsorship applications. I applied for both. And I cried over one result. And smiled over the other.

I actually applied for 4 scholarships, got called for an interview for half of those, and in the end, received a final offer by half of that number. Haha do you get it? If not, well, what I'm trying to say is that I got offered 1 scholarship out of the 4 that I applied for.:)

I seriously cried when I checked PETRONAS, only to find out that I didn't get the sponsorship. You wanna see what they said?

Adalah dimaklumkan bahawa permohonan anda adalah tidak berjaya.
Keputusan adalah muktamad.
PETRONAS mengucapkan Selamat Maju Jaya dalam bidang yang bakal anda ceburi.
Sekian, terima kasih.

Disappointment and tears. That's what happened to me at that moment. And then, a cold-hard feeling hit me. What do I do if I don't get JPA too? Let my dad pay the RM58,000 himself for me to study at KYUEM? I know he won't mind, but he's spent enough on me and it's about time for me to pay him back by saving that RM58,000. That's what I was thinking.

And so I prayed. Hard and long, I prayed. I pray everyday, but I prayed extra hard the last few nights, hoping that Allah would give me the opportunity to make my dad happy.

At 12.30am, Chang Mien told me to check JPA. Said it was ok to check already. She told me she didn't get it. My heart sank. I was sad for her. I really was. And at the same time, I felt all my hopes disappear. How can a girl who got 8A1s 3A2s like me beat a girl who got 12A1s like her?

But. I got accepted! Miraculously. Alhamdulillah. Relief & smiles. That's what happened to me at that moment.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE JPA.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Malaysian government.

Guess this means I LOVE LOVE LOVE Malaysia.

LOL.

Sorry to all friends who didn't get the JPA scholarship. Especially Yasmin and Chang Mien. Chang Mien, you said you weren't sad. But I know you cried your heart out and how I wish I could cheer you up. Please cheer up, Mien! I'll visit you in Perth, promise! So, smile. And Yasmin, I know you really wanted JPA. But it's not the end of the world, kay. Have faith and I know you'll one day make a fantastic doctor. :)

And so I found out Brian Biju Eddy got it too. Awesome. That made 2 Lodgians. So I called him. Congratulations were exchanged. Then he said, "So cun la. Both of us went for interview on the same day and both of us got the scholarship." You got that right, Brian. SO cun.

After that, I immediately thought of my group members during the JPA interview. Rosmiyati from Kolej Abdillah. Siew Hua from St Teresa. Tracy from Green Road. Plus that one girl who came up to me bravely, Teresa from Bandar Kuching No1.I called Ros, and she said she got it. Awesome! She went on to tell me that her friend, Awang Adrian, whom I met during our driving test, got offered a scholarship by PNB. And he's been accepted by KYUEM! Guess I'll be seeing him around a lot in the next 2 years. Another friend of hers, Ali, whom I met during PETRONAS Educamp, got offered by JPA to do architecture.

Things worked out pretty well for the few of us.

Zurya said she got accepted into UTP & UM. Congrats! Decisions, Zurya, decisions. Lol.

Vivien said she got offered a scholarship by Taylors to do hospitality & tourism. Full waiver. Congrats, Vien!

Ah, what a way to end high school. Getting 11As for SPM & a scholarship offer by JPA. I never thought any of that could ever happen to me. Apparently, I was proven wrong. I receive all the greatness You put in my hands with utmost gratitude, Allah.

Now, here's to a new life in college. Watch out, KYUEM! Saara's coming.

With love,
Saara

KYUEM Babyyy!!

2009-05-03T13:33:00.005+08:00

I wanna tell you what went on from 29April till 2May. The four of us(me, Faara, Mummy, Daddy) were in KL.

Faara had no classes at that time, so all four of us had a chance to have a short trip to KL.

Purpose of the trip: To pay the deposit of RM500 to KYUEM.

So we went to Lembah Beringin on 30April. I took the opportunity to memorise the route from my apartment at Opal Damansara to KYUEM & vice versa. Guess I'll be driving to & fro most of the time. Watch out, guys! Haha.

Once at KYUEM, we met Puan Rogayah again (3rd time so far). I passed the deposit and after a short chat, she said she had to go to the finance department & wanted us to meet The Man. Headmaster of KYUEM, Mr Neil Sutherland. Nerves kicked in. What if I made a weak first impression & left him unimpressed? But there was nothing I could do about it, because she already called him out & in a matter of seconds, introductions were made.

My worries faded when we started talking. Mr Neil is a very friendly and amiable man. He gave me advice on many things, and for that I thank him. He asked me what school I was from, and I told him I was from Lodge School, Kuching, Sarawak. He said he knew quite a few ex-Lodgians, and then we got all excited & talked of all the ex-Lodgians we knew.

I knew that he was previously the head of Form 6 at KTJ. So I asked him if he knew Melissa Kong. Duh, of course he did. He told me that Melissa got accepted into OXFORD! I salute you, Melissa. What an achievement!Hmm I don't think Sam & Zoe (KTJ people) know him.

After the chat with Mr Neil, we were brought to one of the chalets. Because I wanted to see what the accomodations were like. I know you guys are like, "So lucky!You get to stay in a chalet. That's so cool la." Surprise, surprise. The chalets are SMALL. In a small chalet, there are 4 small rooms, 2 small toilets & a small common area. Bottom line is: the chalets are small.

But I'm fine with that. I can live with it. Kita mestilah bersyukur, right? I've been through worse. After the experience during PETRONAS Educamp, I'd rather stay in one of those chalets than stay in one of the rooms during Educamp. Zurya & Ros, you know what I'm talking about right? Haha.

The chalet we visited that day was occupied by 4 of my soon-to-be seniors. At that time, only 2 of them were in. They were REALLY friendly. They greeted us cheerfully & didn't seem to mind our little invasion. Thanks, the 2 of you. Hope to meet you again, soon.

I left KYUEM with a thousand and one questions in my head . Will I feel as at home as I was at Lodge? Will I make friends with people who are as great as those back at Lodge? Will I achieve things there that I never thought I was ever capable of achieving?

The answer: I'll just have to wait till I start my life there to find out.

One thing's for sure. I'm looking forward to life in KYUEM. Who knows, the 2 years I spend there might very well be the best years in my life.

With love,
Saara

It's been a week

2009-04-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

As they say, time flies.

It's already been a week since Aaron Teo passed away.

I still feel emptiness.

*Sighs*

Life goes on and we'll get through this.

InsyaAllah (God Willing).

Lotsa love,
Saara

This one's specially for you, Aaron

2009-04-13T23:15:00.001+08:00

8 April 2009. I lost a friend. The loss wasn't because of something small like we had a fight and stopped talking or anything of the sort. It's because he passed away.

Innalillahi wainnailahi rajiun.

Aaron Teo. 1 Sept 1991 - 8 April 2009.

I must confess, he was never my best buddy. But we were friends. He is still my friend, though he's not in this world anymore. And he will always be my friend.

One of the few memories I had with him was when we were in Primary 5. I think he just moved to Lodge at the time. I first met him and his brother at Cikgu Wong's Maths tuition. I was one of his first friends at tuition. And I'm glad I got to know him because he was a very loyal and kind-hearted person.

When we were in Form 4, I had a joint Sweet 16 with Ira and we did invite him. I remember him calling me to tell me that he couldn't come and he was sorry. He was so polite.

It's too bad we were never classmates, and so I never got the chance to know him better. I never thought that he, or anyone I know, would have such a short life. I always thought that I had plenty of time to get to know everyone a lot better when I start studying in KL in July. Little did I know, huh?

When I first heard the news frm Zoe, I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it. All the while I kept thinking, 'WHY??!!!' I mean, how can he go this early? Why didn't he get a chance to do everything he wanted to do in life before leaving? I felt it was really unfair. These sort of things don't happen to people I know. Especially to nice people like him.

After Zoe confirmed the news was true, I sat on my bed in shock. 30 seconds later, I started crying like crazy. I cried and cried and cried. It was just so difficult to digest the fact that not only me, but everyone else, will never see or speak to him ever again. Why why why? I ask that question over and over again.It's been 5 days, and everyday I think of him. And whenever I do, tears start flowing. I can't help but feel sorry for the way his life ended. I feel sad because he DOESN'T deserve what he got. I wasn't close to him, and yet I feel this much pain and this much hurt. I can't imagine what it must feel like for those who know him much better than I do.

I NEVER regretted knowing Aaron Teo. He was never ever mean to me. Honestly, he was one of the nicest guys I've ever known. Though I don't have many memories with him, I'm glad I at least have a few to remember him by. The two things I regret are not being able to at least talk to him one last time and not having any pictures with him. As I said, I was never close with him, but a mere 'Hi' would have been enough. And all these yrs I've known him, I never took a picture with him. Not even once.The last time I talked to him was probably Raya last yr when he called me and wished me Selamat Hari Raya. Oh no, I'm crying again! That was so long ago.....:(

I heard the song 'Terlalu Istimewa' by Adibah Noor today. It was by accident. And I wish I didn't listen to the song because I immediately thought of him. It's a very sad song. And there were 3 lines which made me really cry. They are:

Inginku lihatmu dewasa

Apa daya

Tuhan lebih menyayangimu

So so sad right? I know being depressed isn't good. Be strong, Saara. What happened to him was really a wakeup call for me. It made me truly realise how fragile our lives are. And we can lose our lives at any time. It can happen in a split second. We'll never know when our time is up. Which is really scary. But I have faith in Allah Yang Maha Esa. InsyaAllah, we will all live to a ripe old age. Amin.

This post has been very emo, but I really think it's necessary for me to say what I want to say about what happened. It's the last thing I can do for him.

A message to the late Aaron Teo:

I pray that you Rest In Peace. Please take care of yourself up there. It's a whole new world, but I know you'll be fine. It was a pleasure to know you, and a pleasure to be your friend. Do remember that you have a whole bunch of people down here who care a lot about you. Thank you for being just you. And thank you for being such a nice person. May you be blessed. Amin. I guess this is goodbye, my friend. I will always remember you.

On a lighter note, I just came back from PETRONAS educamp. My experience there will be posted soon, so do look forward to that. Let's just say it involves dirty beds, even dirtier toilets and poppadams that taste like paper. Interesting enough? Until tomorrow then. Gnite!!!!

Lotsa love,

Saara

I've Got News For You

2009-03-26T09:58:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey Saara here!!

I know I know I know. Why have I not been updating?

Sam and Zoe have been asking me to update since last month.

Sorry you two!! Your friend here has been extremely lazy.

But no worries, I'll tell you what I've been up to for the past month:

1. I got my driver's license. On 3Feb. :):) Maximillian Cyril/Maxi later told me that he sat for the test on the same day too. But I was the 10th in SESI 1, and he was in Sesi 4 or 5(I can't remember), so I didn't see him. I got a very nice and young and kinda good-looking JPJ officer for the road test. I got Jalan A. So it was no problem lol. He actually reminded me to memasang lampu isyarat when I didnt do so. And when the car got splashed by water, I had to use the windshield. Apparently once wasn't enough coz it was still blur, so he himself did it for me the 2nd time. Blesss you, man! Haha. At the end, I told him I was sorry about what I did wrongly and thanked him for helping me. He smiled and laughed and said everything was fine. And the hill and parking and three point turning tests were also okay. The JPJ guy in charge was very nice and friendly. He told me, at the end, to always remember that day, coz it was the day I got my license. All in all, it was a happy day.

2. I have finally started guitar lessons. My teacher's name is Hairyl. He's 34 but doesn't look 34. I told him that and he just laughed. He's nice. Taught me Love story by Taylor Swift. Surprisingly, not only his girl students, but his boy students wanted to learn that song too. Lol! I have a little project in mind regarding him and someone I know. Hope it works out!

3. I got 11As for SPM!!!!!!!Well, 8A1s and 3A2s, but, I'm still happy!!!!Syukur Alhamdulillah!!!!If you're wondering what I got A2 for, well, they are Physics, Biology and Pendidikan Islam. I actually thought I was gonna get B3 or B4 for Phys and Bio, so I was surprised. As for PI, I guess the standard was too high. Maybe we had to get 90 to get A1? I don't know. But it's over, so there's nothing I can do about it.

4. I've already applied to KYUEM for Alevels. I start on July12.Radhie too.

5. I just started working at my uncle's architecture company, gapPDMS, yesterday. 25March.I'm a trainee and I'm working with my aunt, who's the finance manager of gapPDMS. Sometimes I'll get half-days and sometimes, like today, I work full-day(Till 5pm). Working is actually much more relaxing than school. You get to eat while you work and you can use the internet and you can call and text people. Flexible huh??Haha. I'll be working there till next Friday. Then I'll start working at my dad's office.

6. Yesterday, one of my cats died. Her name was Nija. I was SO sad when my mum told me. The day before, she was just fine. But my mum said Nija somehow knew she was going to die. But before she died, she let my mum clean her ears first. My poor Nija!!Those of you who really know me, you should know how I feel towards cats, especially my cats. Hmm so menyedihkan.

7. I just checked the JPA website. And guess what? I got accepted for the interview!!!If I do well, I might just get a scholarship!!!! Anyone out there who can help me prepare for the interview? Nervous like crazy right now. And I'm actually blogging during work hours right now lol. Today, my aunt let me do what I want till lunch. :) Oh, and before the interview, I'm supposed to take a test called Ujian Khas Biasiswa Persekutuan JPA. It's an online test. I must complete 2 sections. I have to complete 245 questions in 60 mins for Section A! And 282 questions in 75 mins for Section B!! If I fail, I might not be called in for the interview. Utter craziness, I tell you. Wish me luck..

8. I want to go to David Archuleta's concert!!!!So so much!!!I remember, during American Idol last year, Krystle, Yasmin and I kept saying how cute he was. And how good he was at singing. Anyone else wanna go and watch him?He's performing on 11April. At Sunway Ampitheatre. I'm gonna be in KL from 9April to 12April, so most probably I'm going for the concert.

9. I haven't visited Geraldine yet. Don't scold me! I just haven't had time, Ger!My very brave and strong friend, Ger, went for surgery on 21March. And I'm happy because everything is fine now. She's recovering, and, knowing her, she'll be okay in no time. Maybe I'll visit her this weekend. With Sam, who should be in Kuching at that time.And yes, Ger, I will finally give you back your autograph book!!:)

So that's what I've been up to, people.

I'll try to update more.

Btw, I changed my blog URL to saaraib.blogspot.com.

Why?

Because I decided that my initital URL was too long.

Using my name and my dad's initials would be far easier.

And I'll try to post pics of my workplace. And my guitar class. :)

Lotsa <3,

Saara

Daddy turns 50

2009-02-24T12:58:00.014+08:00

Heyy people.

So so sorry for the lack of updates. I have more free time than all of you and yet you guys update more often than me. Haha I'm just plain lazy. Sue me.

Anyways, yesterday (23 feb) my daddy turned 50!! He wasn't jumping for joy. I totally understand. How I wish my parents wouldn't keep getting older. Sigh.

So last night the 4 of us (daddy,mummy,me,faara) went out for dinner. As always. It's like a tradition in my family. Going out for dinner on birthdays. :)

This time we had dinner at Le Beccari, Merdeka Palace. Food was great. Seriously. Not because I wanna promote the hotel or anything.

Ate. Cut the cake. Took pictures. And then, all of a sudden, a familiar face popped up out of nowhere. Uncle Andrew! Imagine our shock. We always liked Uncle Andrew. He's actually an Ang Moh from Newcastle. He left MP for Egypt a few years ago. While he was still working at MP, he was in charge of The Kiddies' Club. I remember all those Kiddies' Club activities that he carried out, alongside his wife, Aunty Grace. Fun games & good food. Ahh those were the days. We really missed him so we're genuinely glad that he's back here again.

Some pictures of last night:

The Birthday Cake

Daddy cutting the cake

Faara, Daddy, Me

Faara at La Grand Stairs

Me at La Grand Piano

The day before (22 Feb), we had a small family & family friends gathering at our house. To celebrate my daddy's 50 years. Every single family member was present. From both my mum & dad's sides. Everyone was in good spirits. In addition to my family, a few family friends were invited too.

Another Birthday Cake :)

Uncle Ikhwan & Wan Idoracaera Calisa (I call her Caera) were present.

Faara, Caera, Me

Uncle Richard Wee & his wife & 2 youngest sons, Darren & Marcus were present too. Darren kept helping himself to the cheesecake that Faara & I baked. Haha he told us he loved the cheesecake!

Marcus, Uncle Richard, Daddy, Aunty Donna, Darren

Me, Faara, Darren, Marcus

Uncle Zainal & his 2 daughters were also present.

Shifa & Wafa

Good food. Good company. That was all that my dad needed. At the end of the day, everyone was satisfied. It was a comfortable party, where there was no awkwardness because everyone was family.

Happy 50th birthday Daddy! InsyaAllah, you & Mummy will be doing the Hajj this year. Hopefully Daddy panjang umur. InsyaAllah. Hopefully I will make you proud. InsyaAllah.

With love & hugs & what not,

Saara

CNY 2009 - Day 1 :)

2009-01-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

Ok.
So today was the first day of Chinese New Year 2009.
Went to a few houses.
We started visiting quite late. Around 2pm. Why??
Coz it was raining this morning. Rainy days make us more sleepy.
Which means:we wake up late.LOL.

Anyways, the first house we went to was Uncle Richard Wee's.
Met Uncle Richard, Aunty Dona, Brendan, Nigel, Darren and Marcus.
We were happy to see them all again. Hehe.
SO my mum, Faara and I were sitting at the side of the window.
THEN Uncle Richard opened the windows. NO problem.
BUT we asked why.
And he said so that we can see the lion dance. BIG problem.

See, when I was a little girl, I was very scared of lion dances.

I know, I know. It's just humans under those lion costumes.

But there's something about the combination of the loud sounds and scary costumes and the dance that totally scares me. Seriously.
Don't laugh. And I thought that after all these years I would have stopped being scared.
Apparently not. Hmm.

I was like at the edge of my seat. Coz I was scared the lions were gonna come near me.

I was sitting the nearest to them. The horror!!!

Here are some pics that my sis took:

Brendan.

My daddy.Uncle Richard.Brendan.

Uncle Richard.Brendan.

My daddy.Uncle Richard.Brendan.

Brendan.Aunty Dona.

I was bored so I decided to spot ppl in the photos.

That's why there are orange arrows in the photos.Which look so retarded(The arrows).Lol.

In some, I saw my daddy and Uncle Richard.In one, I saw Aunty Dona.

In all, I saw Brendan. Just being very very random lol.

Shows I have nothing better to do.

Watching the lion dance was one of the scariest experiences in my life.

I don't know if I'll ever overcome this fear.

But it's safe to say that I will not be looking forward to watching another lion dance anytime soon. LOL.

So so so after that, we went to our Chinese relatives' house.

Uncle and Aunty Sim.

There, we met a whole bunch of other Chinese relatives.LOL.

Faara and I talked to our 2nd cousin, Gina.

It was great.Coz we never talked before.And then, suddenly,we talked.Haha.

Turns out she's really funny.

Didn't see Aaron Chan this year tho.

And we didn't go to Uncle Ah Lu's house.Oh well, myb nxt year.

And then and then and then

you know what?

I'm sleepy. And I'm lazy to continue now.

LOL.

So I'll continue this post tomorrow.

Nothing much left, but I wanna sleep. So.....

TO BE UPDATED.

Goodnight everyone.:)

Lotsa love,

Saara

Off to Perth

2008-12-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving to Perth tomorrow at 6.30 am. For holidays, not studying. LOL.
I can't wait!

Lotsa love,
Saara

Bye Bye Zoe

2008-12-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

Me and Zoe

On Sunday, 30 Nov 2008, Zoe left Kuching for KL.

She told me the night before that she was leaving. And I was shocked. I really didn't expect her, or any of my friends, to leave so soon. Of course, I was really sad.

So on that day, I went to send her off. I followed Zoe, Sam, Janice and Aron to the airport. Before that, we stopped by at Asian Recipe to have 'dinner'. That was around 5pm I think. Only Zoe ended up eating something. The rest of us only ordered drinks.

When we reached the airport, Janice and I went trolley hunting. We walked from one end to the other to find a trolley for Zoe. We got a trolley and walked all the way back to the other end with it. And surprise surprise. A whole bunch of trolleys suddenly appeared. Hmm. So annoying. Lol.

So anyways, we looked for Sam and Zoe. Then, Sandra, Joel, Keith Wong, Rachel, Peggy, Phoebe, Andre, Keith Lim and Alyssa Chua made their surprise appearance. Zoe was surprised I think. They were so sweet and made a HUGE farewell card for Zoe and stuck photos everywhere. I wish I did smth like that for her. Hmm. I feel kinda bad. Such nice ppl.

We helped Zoe to check in. Then, Sam and Janice left, leaving me with the rest. We all went to Starbucks and waited for Zoe to go in. Her flight was delayed, so we got to spend more time with her.

Unfortunately, I had to leave earlier. Rachel took a picture of me and Zoe, which is probably the last photo of me and Zoe together for the year. Sad. Then I left. I was really really really sad. But I know that I will be meeting up with her a lot in KL next year, and I'm looking forward to that.

Zoe, if you're reading this, I just want u to know that you are the greatest friend a girl could ask for. I mean it. I can't thank you enough for being there for me all the time. Thanks for being my friend. And thanks for keeping my secrets. God bless you.

And so, this post is dedicated to you. I hope my dear Kelabrit is doing well. Saara misses you.

Lotsa love,

Saara

My First Post

2008-12-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone!

I'm Noor Saara binti Ibrahim. BUT most people call me Saara. And some call me Noor. And some call me Noor Saara. And there are nicknames which I don't wanna mention. Just cause I don't want to. Lol.

I actually started this blog on 1 Dec 2008, but I just had time to create this first post today. Hmm. Let's see. I just finished sitting for SPM, the exam that I've been dreading for my whole life. And now that it's over, I'm VERY VERY VERY VERY happy and relieved. The last paper was on 27 Nov 2008, and that was the last day I spent at Lodge School.

I still can't really believe that school is over already. I mean, it's really over. No more meeting the teachers that taught me. Each one was unique and I'm gonna remember them forever. No more meeting the friends I have known during my 11 years in Lodge. Of course, we'll still see each other once in a while. But it's different,because we won't be seeing each other every single weekday.

It's weird. I thought that I would be really happy when school was finally gonna be over. But I'm not that happy. I'm SAD because I hafta leave my teachers, friends and school. I guess I am a little excited to be meeting new people in college. But that won't be happening till July 2009, coz my college only starts then.

Anyways, I wanna explain a little bit about my blog. I never really wanted to start a blog, actually. But when it dawned on me that SPM,my school life and my childhood have ended, I felt rather depressed and realised how important it is to cherish every single moment that takes place in life. I don't want to forget a single moment and so I decided to start this public journal. So that maybe when I'm older and forget what happened in my life when I was younger, I can just read my blog. Lol. And that is why my URL is as such.

Okay, that's all for my very 1st post!

Lotsa love,
Saara